Flash 55 Friday

Jackpot

I catch your eye across the room
You arch your left brow - I smile
and nod-like two thieves in the
night we wordlessly creep into
the kitchen. Fingers travel
lightly as we sort through the loot.
Candy bars, Tootsie rolls, Sweet Tarts,
and gumballs galore! Then...simultaneously
we reach for it: the Almond Joy......


Every year my husband and I scour the kids Halloween candy for Almond Joys. Sometimes we share, others it's every man for himself. What's funny is we never eat that candy bar at any other time of year, only Halloween. If you and yours will be "trick or treating" please be safe. Have a wonderful weekend........

And that is life.....

I received a phone call from my oldest at 11:00 that the leadership retreat had been cancelled because the camp was without power and water. The northwoods of Wisconsin was hit pretty hard and thousands are without power. So it's been rescheduled for next Thurs. through Sat. and due to obligations half the students can't go. He was bummed. When I picked him up from school I could tell by his attitude that he was disappointed and irritated at the weather. I've been there. Not too long ago everything conspired against me to make my life miserable. The weather was no exception. But I have learned that when you share your wisdom with teenagers they do not want to hear it. You can come off sounding condescending. So I just smiled and said, "Well, now you can help us with "Meals and More". So off we went to church. The free dinner was great, lots of people needing a hot meal still showed up despite the horrible winds and rain/snow showers. What was even more gratifying was seeing my three children helping out. Grace was helping with desserts and beverages, Sam with desserts, and Alex was dishing out applesauce. It's important in my mind that they know not everyone comes home to a hot meal, or has a warm bed, or really warm clothes. Even though we live in a small community the need is everywhere. A few years ago Alex and I served a meal at the Harmony House. He was helping me dish out potatoes when three young boys, thin, dirty faces, torn clothes, appeared for dinner. They were right around his age and later he told me that he never thought kids his age needed to go for a free hot meal. I also noticed he heaped their plates that night too. Be aware of your surroundings. Give what you have. In this dog eat dog world a kind gesture, or a kind word, can go a long way for someone. Before long Alex was laughing and having a good time at Meals and More. By the time he got home he had resolved the issue, it is what it is. We all realxed and I went to bed early for some much needed sleep. Lesson learned for all of us last night. When we get to feeling self-pity, or irritated with the world, it's important to step out of ourselves and think of others. What better way to sooth one's soul than to extend your hand to your fellow man.......

Ready, set, let go........

And he's off to camp. That sweet little boy who now has to lean down to hug his mother was up early and in the shower. He was excited and nervous, and probably getting annoyed with his mother who kept saying..."did you pack this? did you remember this?" Finally after one too many eye rolls I gave him a hug good-bye, shut my mouth, and turned him over to God. Letting go is not my strong-suit. I would prefer to hang on tightly. My own insecurities and fears were rising up all yesterday and so on my way to work I said a prayer and turned him over to God. I hope these next few days are just an awesome experience for him. The weather is not cooperating as wind gusts are up to 65 mph, cold, rainy and snow showers. Not that insane weather is uncommon in Wisconsin, I just have the typical mom syndrome of worrying that the bus will flip over on the way up to camp. I know, let go,let God, let go, let God......Grace and Sam had a great time at the pumpkin patch party. They looked so cute with their fake mustaches! This was the first time my husband had to take them, plus they took the three neighborhood kids too! This is open to the public as a community outreach, and free so it is heavily attended. My husband said it was crazy, and asked for an Excedrin when he came home :) Bible study was great, and tonight our group is sponsoring a free meal at our church. This is for anyone who wants/needs a hot meal with fellowship. We generally serve around 100 people. Despite the work it's a lot of fun. Then the week should slow down a bit. I would be lost without my higher power and AA. The tools for living have made it possible for me to live. I'm no longer a spectator but a major player. So let go, let God, and live life.......:)

Not fit for man nor beast......

That title fits the weather today. We are under a wind advisory this afternoon (55 MPH) or more and it's raining. Well I should say pelting due to the high winds. Not to mention snow showers for tomorrow night. This whole system is expected to run it's course over the next three days. Tomorrow Alex leaves for his leadership retreat at camp. They told us the weather doesn't matter. He's excited and nervous. I can always tell when he's not to sure about something. He tends to talk too fast and can't sit still. One of his classes is Narrative Description and as you can imagine it involves a lot of paper writing. I have offered on more than one occasion to give insight to his rough drafts but he usually says "no". Last night he approached me shyly and asked if I would give him some direction. We sat side by side and read, and reconstructed sentences, added and subtracted words etc. (in other words my BA in English came in handy). It was great to work together, and he accepted my suggestions and had many of his own ideas as well. Team work. In AA we always talk about how things go smoother when someone works with you. It's important to not feel that you are alone. I'm reading a book by Luci Swindoll entitled "I Married Adventure". She shares her journey of travel and adventure. At a very young age Luci discovered she never had to be alone. Even though she chose to not marry and follow her dreams of travel, singing, work etc. she knew the Lord was there to walk every step with her. She would never be alone. As I read further in the book I realized how she echoed the words of the AA program. Be true to yourself, live life as God would have you live it. For me that is sober. Right in the thick of things. Which I will be today as the house needs to be picked up, Grace and Sam have a Pumpkin Patch party to go to at their school tonight. They are dressing as Mario and Luigi. Thanks to Goodwill their costumes are adorable! I'm hosting bible study at my house, I have a spaghetti bake to make for "Meals and More" at our church tomorrow night, and Alex needs to pack and get ready for camp. I am amazed at how these full days no longer overwhelm me. How a drink isn't an option. Oh did I mention we are dog sitting for my girlfriend? Why not! The more the merrier :) I guess I would rather have a full house of chaos and laughter, than a neat, quiet, empty one. Live life to the fullest, that has become a reality thanks to my HP and the program of AA. Tuesday blessings.....

Flash 55 Friday

Cozy Afternoon

Reflections of bare bone branches
bowing and swaying in the drowsy
afternoon sky, Flocks of geese
lifted from the lake honk their
good-byes. Dry leaves rustle as
they are hurried down the sidewalks
by the breeze, you and I snuggle
and feel the warmth of our mugs,
and watch the rain begin to fall.....

The rain is predicted for this weekend. My husband and oldest son are up north at the hunting shack with all the cousins, uncles, grandpas etc. My mother and her dog are coming to spend the weekend which should be rainy and quiet. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend......

Dodge Ball........

Ironically that is what I feel like I'm doing this week. Playing dodge ball. Life is a tough opponent at times. Had my mammogram this week. Two years ago I had to have a suction biopsy to remove suspicious tissue so when I have this done there's always a little nagging in my mind. My mother is a breast cancer survivor, so my risk is higher. But I bit the bullet and did the yearly test. I went to a new place so now I have to wait as they get the images from the clinic and compare. Wednesday morning saw me at a Safety Council Fleet Management breakfast meeting, back to work, stopping at my parents, home, dinner, then to the UW for Alex's leadership orientation. What an honor. 30 high school kids from all the surrounding schools. They have been hand picked by teachers. When the mc talked he said, "normally you think of the popular or athletic kids as leaders but that's not always the case. Each one of you was picked because a teacher felt you had something to offer. Something to bring to the table and it needed an opportunity to be brought out". All the kids were busy looking one another over. I knew Alex was nervous because when he would talk to me it came out in short, fast spurts. After a half hour the kids went off in another room to do the "color analysis". This placed them in groups based on their personality. Alex is in the blue. Compassionate, a true friend, hates conflict, loves his family, etc. this is also the smallest group. As is the green group the "thinkers". I watched as parents worried their child wasn't going to fit in. I have those same feelings. It is amazing how much you can work a program and in five seconds of walking into a room place yourself right back into high school and fill yourself up with inadequate feelings. On the drive home, my son who is light years ahead of his mother said, "I really like the group I'm in. The people are just like me and because it's smaller there won't be so many personalities to work with like in the big orange group". Ok who gave this kid the "DNA wisdom"? It wasn't me. At his age I would have felt there was something wrong with me because I wasn't in the big group. Where he embraces his individuality. Next week he is off to a leadership retreat at Camp Manito-Wish waters. Two days packed with problem solving and leadership building. He's excited. I would have thrown up. Then I realized it's not about me (I know you were wondering when that realization was going to hit). It's about him. I had to humble myself and thank God that he is as level headed as he is, and then I had to hand him back over to God. I'm just the instructor, God is the master planner. Sigh....Oh and when I got back to work yesterday my husband had left three messages for me to call him. His place of employment did another big lay off. They are down to almost nothing. So the writing is on the wall. He said he will be surprised if they make it to the new year. Dodge ball and this is a big one. But at least I carry the health insurance and we've made it on almost nothing before. Count your blessings not your troubles. So it's a week of ups and downs. The big "log game" is tonight. It's a football game that is played between East high school and West high school. Whoever wins gets to keep the log in their trophy case for a year. Last year West won, but this year East wants it back. It's our equivelant of a super bowl on a local scale. Alex is going with a bunch of friends. How time changes and moves, and at the end of the day I didn't have to drink. I crawled into bed with my husband and fell asleep saying my prayers. Prayers of "thank you" instead of "why"....and even though I don't have an athletic bone in my body I'm getting pretty good at playing "dodge ball" with life....thank you God, and AA, and you bloggers for listening........

Change...

It's a word I've come to know quite intimately this past year. Change has allowed me to work this program. I'm getting ready to take my 12th. step, and yes, I have had a spiritual awakening. An awakening of the body, mind, and soul. But I'm not the only one experiencing changes. Our oldest son is seeing a change in friendships. This has come of his own choosing. I knew this day would happen. The day when I would go to knowing all his friends, to barely knowing any of them. He has friends from grade school that attend other high schools and I think they will always remain friends. He has one friend that he has known since the third grade and enjoys seeing every few weeks. But since school started I've seen a change in him. The one friend he hung out the most with has become judgemental, social climbing, critical of everyone and this has sent my son on a new journey. I raise my children to be nice to everyone. You never know what someone else has going on. Not to be niave, but don't snap judge. Like Atticus says, "You never get to know someone until you walk around in their skin a while" (it could be shoes but I think it's skin) Alex has pulled away from this friend and is settling in with the kids he likes. He's not much for social climbing as he could care less, so now he seems more happy and settled with following his heart. Saturday night he was invitied to a friend's 16th. birthday party. It was at the VFW (lol) but they all had so much fun. Karaoke, dancing, food, non alcoholic drinks. At 11:00 pm they poured out of the building. Faces shining, laughing, wearing glow sticks. The girls were dressed up, and the boys sweaty from dancing. I sat and watched the kids as they were picked up by their parents. All nice looking clean cut kids, and I thanked God that my son has much better sense than I did at his age. I was trying to social climb, and creating a world of pain and chaos for myself. "Being myself" wasn't an option to me. He jumped in the car all smiles and full of stories. We sat up and talked a while when we got home. Sigh..... changes. Other changes are happening as well. Last night while we sat down for a quick bite, I noticed my husband reading the Homebound. This is a weekly informative that comes from the parochial school that our two youngest attend. In 10 years I have never seen him read one of these. I always read them and then posted them on the bulletin board. He also worked with Alex and Sam on Sam's school project. Making a headdress to represent historical Wisconsin background. It turned out great, and it was one project I didn't have to get involved in. It was neat to come into the kitchen and see my three guys working together. I am so grateful for times like these. My HP works wonders. I remember a few months back when my sponsor said to me, "the healthier you get the easier it will be for others to change and grow". How awesome to see the change, and to be able to accept it and grow with it. Monday blesssings to all.....