Friday, January 7, 2011

Flash 55 Friday

Being Still

Standing at the window,
steaming mug in hand
my lips send ripples
accross the coffee in
an attempt to drink it.
The morning has shown her
face, dressed in a veil of
pink and blue. Not a breeze
stirs in the frozen world
of January until a bark makes
me swallow and start my day.....

This is a usual scene for me, waiting for the dog by the back door every morning. The house is starting to warm up, and the snow sounds like styrofoam as Jack bounds accross it. January is a cold month, but one that reminds us there is beauty and purpose in just being still. Stay safe, stay warm and have an awesome weekend.... Go Pack Go!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Not feeling it today....

No creative juices flowing. So I will go read other's "One Shots". Just feeling cold and tired. Middle child is very ill with ear infection, terrible cold, and throwing up. Managed to last 2 1/2 hours total in school this week, so concerned for him. The Dr. has him on antibiotics but you can tell he just feels rotten. I'm still running things at work, but I did manage to be home with him yesterday. Otherwise he goes to grandpa and grandma's for lots of TLC while the rest of us are at work and school. Their little ShitSzu "Dudley" lays next to him all day long. Dogs/animals are so cool. They know when you just need love. Tomorrow I will celebrate 11 months of sobriety. The year has gone surprisingly fast, and I still have so much to learn. So I'm going to make some hot tea, and finish a few things I have left on my desk. Then it's home to my hubby and kids, to snuggle in for a cozy evening. Yes, life is very good.....

Monday, January 3, 2011

Clean slates & New Year's Resolutions......

At a meeting this past weekend, I heard many people talking about how happy the New Year made them feel. I heard the phrase "clean slate" referred to over and over. I get the feeling however I don't understand how people can brush off 2010 and think they start fresh in 2011. Hmmmmm, some of the same issues I have dealt with in 2010 are still here in 2011. It would be great if it was as easy as turning over the calendar and all your problems just disappeared. We would all love a fresh start but that's not how my life works. The "clean slate" for me is to not repeat patterns of behavior that didn't work last year. To look for new directions or different solutions to issues that I continue to deal with. Forgiving myself has helped remove a lot of the junk I was carrying but it didn't give me a "clean slate". There's only one person who can do that for me, and that's my HP. So for me this year isn't about starting fresh, or starting over, it's about using what I've learned and applying it to my real life. As for resolutions that is one area I have never succeeded at. I was fortunate to not have made "quit drinking" a resolution. In fact at this time last year I was just miserable but I hadn't decided or even considered AA yet. It wasn't until the last week in January that I seriously considered it and realized that I could do it. So it taught me a lesson. Planning for the future isn't an option. Oh, there are things you can do for things you know are coming up, but rarely do we ever have complete control of the situation at hand. So instead of me saying I will loose 50lbs. before summer, I will run a 5K, or I will become this awesome supermom, I have settled on a few less ambitious and for me attainable resolutions. Instead of leaving our bed a mess of blankets and pillows, I will make more of an effort to make the bed this year, I will try to pack healthier lunches for the office more rather than wait to see if someone is making a food run, I will spend a few more minutes alone with each child per day, just them, and try to learn more of what is going on in their world. I will be kinder and gentler to my husband which means setting my agenda behind, and I will try to give more unconditional love to mankind. These few "resolutions" I feel are a bit more doable than all the unrealistic ones I've made in the past. So whether it's a clean slate or not it doesn't matter just as long as you realize the important thing is to take one day at a time, just one 24 hours, no less, no more, and maybe some of the resolutions you made will actually materialize.....