Thursday, May 5, 2011

Betula Papyrifera

There you are old friend
another winter past
your posture is more bent,
your white coat a little
worse for the wear.
I'm glad to see you at your post,
guarding the point.
As the bow of the canoe drifts
across your reflected image,
I pay tribute to your loyalty,
See you soon noble birch.

Here it is, the "published" poem. I have the "release" party tonight, and have been asked to read my poem. I have always loved birch trees. How they stand out in the landscape, tall and proud. As I was writing out the monthly calendar, I reflected on how differently life has become. We are busy beyond belief. Life that held hours of empty drinking, no longer even holds five minutes of free time. If it's not raining the kids want to be biking. Last night my son even talked me into bahaaaing down a grass and dirt covered hill. What fun that was and I didn't flip off the bike.(personal family members will tell you I lack coordination). I had to text my sponsor to assure her I was ok, just busy living life, and that I would see her at Saturday's meeting. She was glad I checked in, and glad that life is full. I am a little nervous for tonight, so wish me luck. Today I get the pleasure of saying: "I am grateful that my cup runneth over", and I hope you are too.....

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

My favorite book....

Justine Bieber and I have something in common. Our favorite book is: To Kill A Mockingbird". The first time I read this book I was a sophomore in high school. Trying to survive the breakup of yet another poor choice I had made. My English teacher was Mrs.Brown. Very petite, dressed in fitted jackets and skirts, pretty, and always sat on her desk when she taught us. We spent about a month on this book, and I loved it. I love the truth that Harper Lee wrote with. She didn't sugar coat the past, just laid it all out in (excuse the pun) black and white. The turning point for me is when Jem thinks they have the jury licked. They can't find Tom Robinson guilty, and yet the jury does. There dies the boy and in steps the man. The injustice that is so hard to explain. So hard to swallow and yet as we get older, we tend to understand it more. It's not such a raw sharp enlightenment as it once was. Boo Radley had it figured out, it was much easier to just stay inside. I have read this book every year since then. If you do the math that's 26 times. I have most of the dialogue memorized, and I always find something new. In my opinion Harper Lee was a genious. My oldest read the book last year. He liked it but couldn't quite see my facination with the book. I told him I had an awesome teacher, who really made our class understand all the awesome tidbits of wisdom that are tucked into that book. "Whatever, mom" came the reply. So last night like an old friend I picked up the hard covered copy that my mother gave me years ago (from the 60's) and began my annual spring journey through this literary great. They say the written word can change your life and this book changed mine. I saw the end of my own childhood as scary, and the end of innocence made me run. I buried that fear in a bottle, until through my higher power and AA I was able to deal with that pain. To read through the pages of injustice, and to mourn the outcome of an innocent man. This book means even more to me now, than it did then. Do I have "Bieber Fever"? No! But I must say for a young man he has great taste in books....Is there a book that is special to you?

Monday, May 2, 2011

Dancing Sober....

Yes, I did for the first time in about 25 years I danced sober. I wasn't sure how I would feel but once out on the dance floor surrounded by friends it was fine. Funny to see what or how other's dance and then to decide that you don't care how you look so you let go and just have fun. My hubby was out of town this past weekend and I attended the wedding of one of our friend's son by myself. I wasn't anticipating any great time, thought I'd be home right after dinner. The ceremony was beautiful, and since their was a block of time before the reception we all went to one of our friend's house for drinks and munchies. The host and hostess are so much fun and right away I had a diet 7UP in hand. It was great to catch up on what our friend's had been up to since I had been sick for the last big social event. We all headed over to the reception for an excellent dinner. They toasted with champagne and I toasted with diet soda. Afterwards we all sat around laughing, and joking, and then the dancing began. How can you not dance to music from "Saturday Night Fever"? It was a hoot. I wasn't uncomfortable at all. As the night went on and the volume got louder I knew it was time for me to leave. I said my good-byes and headed home. Reflecting on the way home that I can barely remember a time when I danced sober. I never had the courage, and with a drink in hand it gave me the perfect excuse if I danced like a fool. Tonight I had fun and I didn't care what people thought of me. I would wake up Sunday morning refreshed after a good night's sleep and have a productive day minus a hangover. It's nice to come to the point of being able to go anywhere as long as you are spiritually fit. I also know that if the situation becomes uncomfortable I can leave. I have choices today, something I didn't have before. Also being able to drive yourself home without worrying about being pulled over is another plus. There was a reason my husband had to be out of town at the last minute, and that I needed to go to this wedding by myself. I needed to be alone and prove to myself that I am able to be in the same room as alcohol. To seperate myself from my friends as the one who has the problem finally makes sense to me. Believe it or not this was a huge growth experience for me. It's nice to know that I do know how to handle every situation as it comes. Tonight I pick up my Master Gardener Certificate and handbook. Yes, I passed. I found the results out on Friday. It was a hard test, and I was over analyzing it so much that I finally just turned it in to get it out of my hands. Unfortunately the high today is 45 and it feels like the second of November rather than May but we're hanging in there. Hope you are all having a happy Monday.....