Thursday, October 21, 2010

Dodge Ball........

Ironically that is what I feel like I'm doing this week. Playing dodge ball. Life is a tough opponent at times. Had my mammogram this week. Two years ago I had to have a suction biopsy to remove suspicious tissue so when I have this done there's always a little nagging in my mind. My mother is a breast cancer survivor, so my risk is higher. But I bit the bullet and did the yearly test. I went to a new place so now I have to wait as they get the images from the clinic and compare. Wednesday morning saw me at a Safety Council Fleet Management breakfast meeting, back to work, stopping at my parents, home, dinner, then to the UW for Alex's leadership orientation. What an honor. 30 high school kids from all the surrounding schools. They have been hand picked by teachers. When the mc talked he said, "normally you think of the popular or athletic kids as leaders but that's not always the case. Each one of you was picked because a teacher felt you had something to offer. Something to bring to the table and it needed an opportunity to be brought out". All the kids were busy looking one another over. I knew Alex was nervous because when he would talk to me it came out in short, fast spurts. After a half hour the kids went off in another room to do the "color analysis". This placed them in groups based on their personality. Alex is in the blue. Compassionate, a true friend, hates conflict, loves his family, etc. this is also the smallest group. As is the green group the "thinkers". I watched as parents worried their child wasn't going to fit in. I have those same feelings. It is amazing how much you can work a program and in five seconds of walking into a room place yourself right back into high school and fill yourself up with inadequate feelings. On the drive home, my son who is light years ahead of his mother said, "I really like the group I'm in. The people are just like me and because it's smaller there won't be so many personalities to work with like in the big orange group". Ok who gave this kid the "DNA wisdom"? It wasn't me. At his age I would have felt there was something wrong with me because I wasn't in the big group. Where he embraces his individuality. Next week he is off to a leadership retreat at Camp Manito-Wish waters. Two days packed with problem solving and leadership building. He's excited. I would have thrown up. Then I realized it's not about me (I know you were wondering when that realization was going to hit). It's about him. I had to humble myself and thank God that he is as level headed as he is, and then I had to hand him back over to God. I'm just the instructor, God is the master planner. Sigh....Oh and when I got back to work yesterday my husband had left three messages for me to call him. His place of employment did another big lay off. They are down to almost nothing. So the writing is on the wall. He said he will be surprised if they make it to the new year. Dodge ball and this is a big one. But at least I carry the health insurance and we've made it on almost nothing before. Count your blessings not your troubles. So it's a week of ups and downs. The big "log game" is tonight. It's a football game that is played between East high school and West high school. Whoever wins gets to keep the log in their trophy case for a year. Last year West won, but this year East wants it back. It's our equivelant of a super bowl on a local scale. Alex is going with a bunch of friends. How time changes and moves, and at the end of the day I didn't have to drink. I crawled into bed with my husband and fell asleep saying my prayers. Prayers of "thank you" instead of "why"....and even though I don't have an athletic bone in my body I'm getting pretty good at playing "dodge ball" with life....thank you God, and AA, and you bloggers for listening........


  1. smiles. hope all goes well with the mamogram images...sounds like some pretty cool things are happening for your son as well...that is awesome...will be praying about hubbys job...not a lot of fun but you have a good attitude about it.

  2. Even though I do not like to use this word, it is the only one which expresses how I feel upon reading your blog today:


    You have spoken for all who have ever lived with and loved a child. You allowed me to relive those apprehensions AND those moments of pure pride in the accomplishments (or not) of our young Peeps.

    And you are staying sober through it all, experiencing life on life's terms. Sometimes when I was 'out of work' I had to do a job for which I was not suited. It happens. Hopefully, whether your 'man' keeps his job or not, the tensions of both of you will be at a minimum.

    And, of course, God's will WILL be done...eventually, No Matter What (NMW!).

    Have a good mammogram, Ma'am...

    Steve E

  3. It's good that your son celebrates his individuality. Not having to be in the large group is a good thing. He is happy with who he is.