Flash 55 Friday

February Daze

The sun came knocking
at my back door,
so I opened it wide
and let him come in
He gracefully poured through
the clear plexiglass frame
and quietly spread his
arms full of warmth, across
the kitchen floor and down
the basement steps as the black
cat purred and closed
his green eyes in thanks.....

The other day when I was home, I opened the door to let the sun shine through the storm glass and our black cat Coal was delighted to doze in the warmth. All afternoon he followed the trail of beams until the afternoon turned cool and the sun started to sink. We have been blessed with a very mild winter and I am glad to see the days growing longer. Hoping you all have an awesome weekend :-)

Two years....

Life is very interesting... in the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths.
Drew Barrymore Quote for Overcoming Addiction

This past Monday (Feb. 6th.) marked my 43rd. birthday and my second sober birthday. I remember my first year very well. I think I was shaky for at least the first three months. Very quick to cry, tired, emotionally spent, spiritually bankrupt. Desperate for change. I was lucky, change came.

I have an awesome sponsor. She taught me many things. To love myself, to stand on my own two feet, to put on my big girl panties and face the music, to depend on my HP for strength, to lean on others, to live, to laugh, to love, to love life. She's tough. I never got away with anything. She made me own my sobriety. She became my friend, and she walked every step of the way by my side. I know not all sponsors are created equal. I was one of the fortunate few who chose well, and was given what I needed. For that I am eternally grateful.

I have many friends in AA. People of all walks of life. I can honestly say I never saw the differences only the similarities. They made me feel like I was home. That my disease was no more or no less of a disease than theirs. I love these people. They are my fix, my piece of sanity, my sanctuary when I need to be around those that understand me.

I have had more happen to me in my second year than even I could have imagined. Things I couldn't have prepared myself for, but at least now I had the tools for living to at least deal with these issues and not with a bottle of Vodka. I have faced some fears that seemed larger than life, only to find out how really small they were. I have finally let go, ceased fighting everything and everyone. I know what serenity is.

I have a peace of mind that I didn't know existed. Even when life deals me an unfortunate hand, I can play it and move on. I now know that everything will be ok, if not for today, then for tomorrow. I have stepped out of the shadows and into the sunlight. I am grateful for these many lessons.

Life is full of choices. I didn't even know I had a choice, but I do. So do you. I don't always choose well, I'm a work in progress and I hope to never be finished. I also share this special day with a special sober sister: Sober Julie over at "Sober Julie Doing Life". I do not think it was coincidental that we met blogging, it was meant to happen.

I no longer set grandiose expectations for myself. I celebrate all days. There's a lot of joy in the small things. The warmth of the sun pouring in through the windows, a kind word from a stranger, an unexpected hug, the laughter of a child. These are the things that make life sustainable, worth living. And I am grateful I was able to realize this before it was too late. Happy Birthday to me and I hope I have many more....Thank you all for being part of my recovery.......