Friday, May 27, 2011

Off to the lake....

The two youngest finished school this morning, the oldest is getting ready for finals. The giant marshmallows and Hershey's chocolate have been purchased, the dog "frontlined" and soon we'll be driving to the lake. The whole family anticipates this first weekend at the cottage. Listening to crickets and peepers, an occasional call of the loon. Kayaking in the early morning is my favorite, reading by a fire all afternoon long, no cell phone towers, no computers, just the lake and all it's beauty. Wishing you all a wonderful holiday weekend. Stay safe, and make new memories. I leave with a 55....


Stealing down to the lake,
Careful not to disturb Mother Nature
as the dawn stretches her arms, and birds
sing their daily mantra, I quietly slip
the kayak onto the water and without
a sound I cut through the steam softly
rising in the air, and I’m in awe at the
splendor that lies ahead….

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Modern day miracles....

Sorry I haven't been blogging. Life has been too busy. We are starting to wind down and my two youngest start their last week of school. Memorial Day plans include a weekend at the cottage with cousins and family. Listening to the spring peepers, and the call of the loons while dozing by a campfire...we can't wait!!! I have been dealing with a nasty spring cold mixed with allergies and was so miserable by Friday that I cancelled all weekend plans and stayed home. I have to be careful to not take on too much, and being an alcoholic my brain tells me theres no limit to what I can accomplish. However my sponsor is kind enough to remind me that there is a word called "no" and that I need to use it more. Spring is in full blast. All the honeysuckles and flowering crabs are in bloom. My lilacs burst forth literally overnight. Spring has sprung but like fall it is too short a season in the Midwest. Summer is nipping at it's heels. Yesterday at the 11:00 meeting P celebrated 10 years of sobriety. I met P early on in my recovery when she came up to me with her phone number and encouraged me to keep coming back. P is a pretty fifty some woman with a glow that no amount of money could buy. She has a quiet class about her that most people spend a lifetime trying to find. She has a good friend G that lives in my neighborhood and one day I asked him what her story was. It turns out that P was a lot like me. Mother of three, a husband who was gone a lot, working woman, who to run away from all the stress in her life turned to drinking in the evenings. She became quite good at it, and even drank herself out of a liver. P came into recovery when her three boys were 15, 12, and eight. Ironically she found a liver transplant in AA. Shortly after receiving her transplant she and her husband divorced. An act that she says nearly killed her worse than the liver transplant. What's so amazing is she has the best sense of humor. She jokes around that for years she carried a picture of her ex in her wallet and when things got really bad she would pull it out so she could realize that nothing was worse than being married to him. Ten years later she just sold her house due to the fact her liver is in rejection, and she wanted to pay down her medical bills and simplify her life. She enjoys her two grandchildren, and loves the quiet pleasures in her life. She was in and out of the hospital all winter, and yet yesterday she was only concerned with others. She never complains, she exemplifies the program, and she truly has the most beautiful glow about her. It's always a treat when I get to see her. We talked yesterday and she was asking the ages of my children and when I told her she said, "you sobered up at the best time of your life", and I agreed. To the average person who has no problem with alcohol or drug addiction they simply can't imagine what a gift sobriety is. How your entire world changes. How everyday is brighter, even when everything goes wrong, because you are no longer obsessed with self destruction. Life is so deeply rich and I didn't realize it until I could take it in with a clear head, mind, and body. Today severe storms were rolling in and my oldest and I were standing on the back porch admiring mother nature's storm clouds when suddenly the smell of rain was so strong. I said to my son,"isn't that just the best smell?" and he agreed. There are modern day miracles all around us from the whiff of rain, to the laughter of a child blowing bubbles in the wind, to the warmth of the sun on your face, to my friend P. May we always be in tune to those miraculous gifts each and every day......