Living in the dark.....

Literally. Yesterday an afternoon storm rolled through the area. Winds at over 60 miles an hour. I was training with a colleague when all the power went out at work. It was finally restored about 10:30 pm last night. I picked up the kids went home only to fine out we were out of power, and guess what? We still are!!! Not to mention huge pine branches snapped and lying all over our yard. Luckily none of them fell on the gardens or caused damage. Just a big mess. So what do you do with three children staring at you? and no power? Go shopping. Sam needed some new flip flops, Alex some new shirts, and Grace needed styrofoam balls for her planet report. We managed to waste a few hours bumming around and then headed home confident that the power would be on by now. Nope. Now it's late in the evening and we are loosing light. So I put everyone into action. The kids went out to start hauling branches, and I sorted backpacks, made lunches, laid out clothes, and gather pj's. I also dug out lots of candles, flashlights, matches, and turned down the beds. The kids came in and we headed to grandpa and grandma's so they could finish homework and shower. Confident once again the power must be on we headed home. Only to see the telling flicker of candles through my neighbor's window as we pulled into the driveway. It was going on ten pm so we lit candles and headed to our rooms. Once Sam was tucked in, I blew out his candle, Alex took one to his room to finish reading a book for history and Grace and I headed upstairs. It was fun to read Laura Ingalls Wilder's "By the Shores of Silver Lake" in the candlelight. The soft flickers of shadows on the ceiling, entertained Grace and lulled her to sleep. I slept restless hoping to find the power on this morning but no deal. Charles took the kids to school, and I headed to my parents so I could get ready for work. Confident once again the power must be on I phoned my husband only to hear "nope". I can't image the people in the South or anyone for that matter without power. I went to my laptop only to remember our wireless was down. I must have turned the light switches on from habit 100 times only to realize they didn't work. Boy I would not have handed this well in the past. This would have been a perfect reason to drink. But having three pairs of eyes staring at you all expecting you to know what to do makes a difference. I was so thankful to be sober and clear headed. I needed to be the mom and not wrapped up in my own pity party at the weather's inconveniecing us. My kids were great. They just did what I asked and no one freaked out. I was able to reassure them that we would be just fine. Now I just hope that the power comes on sometime today. I value their trust, and I don't want them to start to panic. Living in the dark shines a different perspective on things. You can't do as much. You are limited by candles. You appreciate the small conveniences you do have. It keeps you humble. I hope you are all in the "light" today and that you never take it for granted in your day to day lives.I know I won't every again.....

And in the second year of sobriety....

I was teasing my sponsor the other day:"You forgot to tell me that in the second year of sobriety your life gets crazy busy". She laughed and said, "it's amazing how fast those hours spent drinking are filled with living life once you stop". How true it is. The only thing I can say is that by Monday I'm more tired than I was on Friday. But really I'm not complaining. Last Thursday night when I attended the release party for the MUSH publication I was presently surpised to find out that two of my poems had been published. We each received a copy of the publications, and it was awesome to sit and listen to so many talented people read their pieces. The food was provided by a local Italian deli, (nothing like cheese, and Italian meats) and the weather even broke into late evening sun. A good time was had by all. Friday the Center for the Visual Arts had their annual auction. My oldest child had submitted a painting for this fundraiser. My girlfriend called in the afternoon saying she couldn't use her ticket so could I? Of course! An evening of art, auctions and once again good food is right up my alley. Alex was so nervous about his painting but it sold after two bids, so he was feeling much more self assured and was starting to plan what he would submitt for next year's gala. It was great to spend this time talking with people in our community and he enjoyed meeting other artist's as well. I love to watch my children interacting with other's accross the room because it gives you a different peek at their personalities. Saturday found hubby working, Alex off to another city for Cultural Fest, and the rest of us headed for a greenhouse and then home for planting. Sunday my two youngest and I sang with their classmates and mom's for Mother's day in church. And then it was home to spend the day the way I wanted, working in my flower beds. This isn't work for me, it's pure enjoyment. My parents came for dinner, and it was so nice to crawl into bed full of sunshine, fresh air and exhaustion. I try to follow my program by staying in today. But as I opened the frig. for some milk this morning, one click glance at the calendar and the only free evening this week is Wednesday until I realized Grace and I need to finish her planet report. Yikes! In an instant I started to panick, my mind started racing, how can I get all this done, and now hubby is back to working in the afternoon and evenings. And then I looked down, and on the counter was a small silver coin, and on it the serenity prayer. Grace had taken it out of my jewelry box and had left it on the counter. God must have had a plan, so I read that serenity prayer, and took a deep breath. "No problem, I thought. I got this." I poured the milk on my cereal and turned on the morning news to get the weather report. You know we have so many little sayings in AA that people could consider mundane or tacky but for me they work. Take it easy, one day at a time, keep both feet in today etc.....I didn't live like this before. I had one foot in the past and one in the future. No wonder the present is so busy for me. I stood their for a moment feeling like I was standing on a train platform. I needed to make the decision to get on the train and get where I needed to go, or stay back in fear. I took a deep breath, then jumped aboard. Today I choose to not let life pass me by......Hoping all you awesome mom's, aunties, and women had a great Mother's Day!!!!