Saturday, March 13, 2010
Rights of Passage, A New Love, and Digging In
I never realized the right of passage would be different to the opposite sex. As girls it really didn't matter that much about getting our temporary license. I mean all we needed was one girl to have her license and we would pile in the car and head off on the latest boy chase. I loved witnessesing the shy smile on my oldest son's face as they handed him his plastic laminated temp. license. Of course his buddies were disappointed that he wasn't driving when we came to get them, and I'm sure a certain girl was texted the moment he had it in his hand even if he swears they are "just friends". I have seen how he looks at this "friend" when she's at our house, and I remember having those "friends" that make your stomach flop when you see them. After we left the DMV we decided to have some lunch at a Thai restaurant. The food was very good. Nothing better than fresh Basil, when all of a sudden my new love showed up. He's small, round, and rich. Rich as in chocolate!! May I introduce "Fudge Lava Indulgence"! This was the best Lava cake I have ever seen. My son and I split the dessert. It was warm, the chocolate gently flowed out of a rich decadent cake. On the side was an expresso mousse and a dollop of whip cream. I tell you I never thought I could find something to replace a great glass of wine but I'm onto something. It was the first time I really enjoyed the luxury of an incredible dessert. I was always too many cocktails in by dessert time to taste anything. But this was an experience for the taste buds. I leaned back and sighed. Totally satisfied. It's amazing when your sober how heightened your senses become. You become alive to every sensation. The weather has been damp and rainy for the last four days and yesterday when I caught my reflection in the mirror I noticed how rosy and moist my cheeks looked. I laid my hand on my face and they were cool and sticky from the heavy mist. I love the sensation of life. After all the children were dispersed to various places my sponsor came over and we "got to work". Working through the first step. Three and a half hours and a pot of Starbucks Expresso later we completed what we set out to accomplish for this particular session. I remembered things that I have buried so deep that I didn't think they could possibly surface. I now know that you couldn't do this alone. Just having my sponsor present makes digging up the past less painful. We laughed, we cried, I worked through the first step in my workbook, and I let some things go that I have been chewing on for years. I felt lighter, calmer, and content when she left. I felt like bouncing around the rooms, but duty called and I had to pick up my two youngest childen from the play date they were having. As I was grabbing the keys to head out the door, the dog stretched and yawned and I had to agree, it was a wonderful, wonderful day!