"I'll just have my usual........"

Yesterday after I managed to pick up all my children plus an extra from various places we stopped at the Mint Cafe for a quick bite to eat. This is one of my favorite places to eat, my mom took me there when I was about 8 and introduced me to an awesome sandwich: the Rueben. Well we sit down and the waitress hands out the menus, takes our soda order and then my daughter hands me her menu and says,"I'll have my usual". I look over at her and reply, "You are 7, what usual do you have?" She looks at me with those blue eyes, emits a huge sigh and says,"I've been ordering the chicken strips plate since I was like four, it's my usual!" I should stop trying to outsmart a seven year old! But after my meeting I got to thinking about "the usual". I never dreamed I would ever have the usual. I should be married to someone rich who carts me all over the world and waits for my every wish to be his command. It's right around this time that my fantasy bubble gets burst with something like the dog throwing up or a fantastic crash from something the kids just knocked over. But I really did fight the idea of "the usual" almost my entire adult life. I wanted to not be the usual mom, I wore cool jeans, high heels, I was a working woman in a man's world. I could hold my own. I drank martini's with my left hand and packed lunches with my right. How "not usual" was that?! Yet, I was missing out on how wonderful my usual life is! Sometimes I feel like I've been standing across the street viewing my life from afar.
I am so grateful to have a program like AA in my life. I'm complex, I don't handle stress well, I don't handle my emotions well, let's face it I have a hard time with life on life's terms. Yet I'm fortunate enough to have been given a second chance. A chance to do things differently and not keep repeating the same unhealthy, unproductive pattern as before. Today, just getting through these 24 hours makes all the difference. My husband called and he'll be working a double shift today. I'm going to pick up some food and drop it off at his work. Today I can do something nice. He didn't ask me to do this, but I know he'll appreciate it. So I guess what I'm trying to say is "This is my life, and I'll have my usual!".....