Coffee Talk....

I had coffee last night with two friends. Actually two awesome women of God who I am blessed with having in my life. I used to meet people out for a drink, which is funny because I don't think I've ever had just one drink, more like 3 or 4. But it was so good to gain someone else's perspective. I learned so much in the hour and a half that we were together last night. I am of course struggling with what is going on with my husband. Two sets of fresh eyes and ears viewing the situation proved to be very enlightening. This is what I was enlightened upon: My husband is scared, scared that I might sober up, and maybe not want, love, or need him, he's been blown out of the water and totally taken by surprise, he had no preperation time for anything because I tend to do something "right now" with very little warning, that he himself is struggling with identity issues, that keeping our conversation limited to the kids, what's happening for the day, grades, work etc. is ok because it's what we both know, what we both have in common. This was such a huge help to me. When I was driving home, all these thoughts we shared came into focus. Things were so much clearer. Thank you ladies, I needed that. In recovery you are so focused on staying sober, being in the current 24 hours, not beating yourself up, turning everything over to your higher power etc...that you really are only seeing people through a peep hole at times. Extra eyes and ears can provide you with a much broader view. Tonight I get to go to the 5:30 meeting. I love 5:30...it's where I started. I love the familiar faces, and one of my friends leads the meeting, it's Friday and people are glad to have two days off. Then I meet with my sponsor. This time is great because we pull off layers of my mind, and discover what makes me tick. This journey is so hard to share because it's like being reborn because you are constantly discovering, and learning, and feeling each and every day. Like taking a walk with your nerves on the outside of your body. I also shared with my boss today. I have wanted to do it for a long time, but the timing had to be right. She is such a neat lady! She jumped right on board, full of support. She's going to stop by my office later so we can talk. I am always in awe and amazement at all the love and support that people give so freely. I am blessed! and I love coffee talk.....do yourself a favor and get some today!