Thursday, March 25, 2010

So, the ice is beginning to melt......

I was working at my desk when my cell phone went off. I noticed it was my husband so I answered it. We talked about the kids, what the schedule was for tomorrow and then he paused and said, "We need to talk". I said, "Yes, we do need to talk". Then all of a sudden he started firing questions like an M-16:"Why are you lighting candles in our bedroom, and I noticed the "Real Sex for Real Women" book on your desk, and all the new lotions and perfumes.....what's going on?!" It took a minute for me to process just what he was implying and then it hit me! He thinks I'm having an affair?! Well this so floored me that I almost burst out laughing. But because I know just how fragile our marriage is, and it's not nice to make fun of someone's attempt to gain the truth I abstained. (it was hard not to laugh! could you imagine the reply, "Oh yes honey in the two months that I've been in recovery spending my every waking and breathing moment in sobriety I just decided to have an affair too!")So I took a deep breath and replied,"the candle smells so awesome that I light it at night while I'm journaling for aromatherapy, the "sex" book is because I have some self image problems and I also want to be a loving and nurturing wife in that important area, and the lotions and perfume are to pamper myself because I need some pampering at the end of a long day." Once again a pause, "Well we still need to talk about a lot of things." And I replied, "I would like that very much. Anything you want to know just ask, I really want you along in my recovery". We wrapped up the conversation and I felt a huge weight lift after I hung up the phone. Last night I had a conversation with God and I told him I knew that there were so many problems between my husband and myself, and that my drinking had caused so many of them. Then I told God in his time I hoped my husband would start to come around. I don't think it was a coincidence that he picked today to come around. (Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly) I am happy that today we made a tiny baby step on the road to rebuilding our marriage. My main focus is on my recovery but having him be aware of what I'm doing will go a long way to building up trust and communication between us. So for today all is well....the sun is shining, the birds are singing...and I have hope.....

2 comments:

  1. I am glad that you are taking care of yourself and rediscovering who you are. I'm hoping that the talk with your husband goes well.

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