The daily routine....

I never thought about "the daily routine" of life until I entered AA, and the fog began to lift. I thought I had a pretty good routine going and yet I always felt like I was under water. Just enough to see the surface but never being able to make it to the top. When I think back to last year and how I always felt like I was drowning and overwhelmed I can see where the bottle offered solace. One person can only handle so much by themselves. So why when I was packing my middle child's lunch last night, a task I've done a thousand times, did I no longer feel that I was under water?! "Because", I heard a voice in my head say,"you take time for yourself now, and life doesn't have to be so hurried". That's true. The hours that I used to spend sitting in the leather chair, staring at the TV having cocktail after cocktail are gone. They have been replaced by a bath, followed by some great smelling lotions and spritzes, then some journaling while listening to relaxing music(usually smooth jazz), then I crawl into bed, read a bit and turn off the light before ten o'clock. I started this ritual my second week into sobriety and it has grown very precious to me. Where alcohol was my escape this new routine has become a savior. Quiet time to reflect on the day, to talk to God, to quiet all the emotions that seem to be flying around my insides. I never thought that I needed to take care of myself until now. I see how much more relaxed I am, how much more objective I can be at situations that before would have sent me in a tailspin. Am I perfect at handling everything? Absolutely not. But as another blogger reminded me ,"this is a program of progress not perfection". I like the progress I'm starting to see. I like my new daily routine. It keeps me in my "routine", present and participating. It makes me "show up and suit up" and most importantly it keeps my head above water. Taking care of me is probably one of the most important things I have learned because when I take care of myself I have a lot more to give to others........