Monday, March 28, 2011

I am never going to have fun again!

I was having coffee with a friend the other day whom I haven't seen in a while and out of the blue this person says, "so do you have fun anymore, I mean it must be a real drag not being able to drink anymore". I nearly choked on my coffee. I'm a bit of smart ass by nature so after pondering this statement/question I wanted to say: "Well, when I entered AA I took a vow of never having fun again", I stay at home, bored out of my mind, drinking water, and staring at the walls of my 5 x 5 cell of sobriety hell". What was this person thinking?! Yes, only fun things come from drinking. I mean you can't have any fun unless you have a drink in hand! Then I had to give myself a moment and just be concerned with myself. I probably would have said the same thing if I was still actively drinking, because at one time, I didn't think you could have fun without drinking. It wasn't until drinking became a chore, a necessity, and I finally realized the fun had gone out of drinking a long time ago. Even the last day when I drank, it wasn't fun. I had finally reached the turning point. For those who can control their drinking this may be a concept they never have to deal with. However, looking back I am very happy I made it to that point. It was then that I knew I had to decide between being miserable drinking, or being miserable not drinking. What is surprising is how fast I began to realize that not drinking wasn't so bad. I sure didn't miss climbing into bed all liquored up and waking in the morning with a nasty headache. And sure there were times when I wanted to flee the pain, to run back to my numbing solution, but there were people who got me through those times, so I could keep remembering how miserable I was before I entered the doors of AA. My sponsor talks about how when she first sobered up she thought that she had to stay serious, focused, and she often thought that she "would never have fun again". Partly because she suffered the loss of her husband unexpectedly, she adopted her grandson when her daughter abandoned him, so she did have a lot of serious things going on. But she was invited to a party, and she almost didn't go, but then something inside her told her to go. She did, she ate, she danced, she laughed, and she realized that having a good time has nothing to do with alcohol. Like me she enjoys being able to remember the good time the next day. This past Saturday my hubby and two youngest children had dinner with my bestie, her hubby and their youngest daughter. We talked, we laughed, we ate delicious food, drank coffee, and just had an enjoyable evening. It's so nice now to walk in the door and have my oldest son say, "How was your dinner, did you have a nice time?" and I can honestly say "Yes, I had a great time". So I looked at my friend, and finally gave my answer. "I have a lot of fun being sober. I have fun with my family, with my friends, at meetings, and at work. My life is richer, more meaningful, and happier than any time when I was drinking. I don't miss it, nor do I want it back. I laugh louder, love deeper, and life has never been more fun than since I quit drinking." She had no response. At one time I wouldn't have had one either, but I'm sure grateful I do now.....


  1. What an interesting perspective from your friend and what a fantastic answer from you! Love it!

  2. WOO HOO! YES! I must share at link to this post with my readers tomorrow! I think all of us AAs get asked this question, especially at 25! That's why I started my blog - to show that you actually CAN have fun and be sober. For the first 2 years in recovery...I didn't know what being happy or having fun meant though. It's been an amazing revelation!

  3. That's a fantastic post. I certainly drank longer than I wanted to because my fear of life without didn't look like it would be fun at all. I thought it would be full of shame and apologies and then boredom.
    Now I have more real fulfilling fun than before.
    Oh and I'll hang in the cell with you if you allow coffee

  4. its all perspective...and how you define fun...when drinking is the source of fun you cant imagine lifewith out it being much fun...but there is much fun to be had in the after...

  5. Ahhhh, normies!! Gotta love-em
    Only when I got sober did I find that kind of laughter that makes you pee your pants and hurts your stomach, makes you spurt your beverage (hopefully water) upon those around you! Genuine, real, gut originated, unihibited giggling.....
    That's a good time sober

  6. Love it! Great answer from you, and so true. Not only do I have fun in sobriety, but I can remember the fun I had! LOL

  7. Page 132 in BB has two appropriate six-word quotes

    1. "We are not a glum lot."

    2. "We absolutely insist on enjoying life."

    Early morning at 24-Hour Club every day at 7, between 70-90 Peeps assemble for a meeting. And the laughter and joviality I hear is awesome as I ride up to my parking place.

    You have treated this "fun" topic well, girl. Thank you!

  8. It may start out being fun, but as the disease progresses, it isn't fun for anyone--not the drinker or those around him/her. I find that we laugh and have a great time now, whereas when she was drinking, there was nothing but worry and anger.