Recovered vs. recovering......

Yesterday, sick of paperwork, crabby employees, and endless task lists, I took the afternoon off. Did grocery shopping(only had to give away one whole leg and half an arm)because the price of food baffles me, and I do not indulge! Just the basics cost a small fortune. Not to mention the teenage vacumn the consumes non stop in our home. After the groceries were put away my two youngest children and I went to see Diary of a Whimpey Kid Roderick Rules! For anyone unfamiliar with these books, pick one up at your local bookstore and read a few chapters. They are very funny, and you will be able to relate. I liked the first Whimpey Kid movie, and really liked this one. We all laughed, hooted, ate way to much buttery popcorn, and had an enjoyable afternoon. I dropped them off, threw a kiss to my hubby and headed back out the door for my seven o'clock We are Not Saints Group. My buddy D celebrated his seventh anniversary last night. I have known D for almost a year now, he and his wife met in AA and were married last June. A lovely couple. D started his recovery in jail. His sponsor spoke of the first time he met D at a jail meeting. He said lots of guys come to meetings just to get our for a while but few have the desire to change. He knew when he met D that this man was different. He desperatley wanted to get and stay sober. It was a very touching story, so awesome to hold his seven year coin and bless it. Not to mention that D is now a chef, and he made the most awesome cake. As we sat around eating cake and drinking out coffee we talked about recovered vs. recovering. I hear some people say they are grateful to be recovered alcoholics. I guess for me that's not an option. Recovered suggests a solution, an end. This program doesn't end. Well it does for people who walk away from it, but it's a program of growth and change. Perhaps these people have been cured from the urge to drink. It is one of the promises that I am so grateful for. But being fully recovered would mean to me that there is no more room for growth, or improvement. There's always room for that. And let's not forget humility. I need daily doses of that to keep me real. When I feel smarter, better, or judgmental towards people, a warning bell goes off in my head. I need to work my program! I need to focus on me, get back to the business of me. I will always be a work in progress. I don't want the end. I want growth, and the wonder of living, and that can only be found by being willing to take chances, learn from your mistakes and grow. After discussing this topic for a while other people started to talk about how after you are sober for a while you feel like you have all the answers. One man said he was just on fire after the first year. He was going to save everybody, especially his brother. He ended up embarrassing his brother in front of his peers and retreating with his tale between his legs. A lady talked about how after her first year she had the solutions for everyone. At Christmas time she bought AA big books for her parents, her brother, everyone she knew that was an active drinker. Needless to say these gifts were not to happily received. She said her mother gave hers away to Goodwill. We all laughed and sympathised because we had all been there. So in order for me to be genuine I must remember that I am not recovered. This disease is a part of me, and even if I'm not drinking it's actively progressing, just waiting for the day when I take a drink. I do not want that day to happen. So I will keep my eyes, ears, mind, and heart open for change and growth. Because as I've said before "if you're not growing, then you're dying".....