Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Subtle Reminders.....

Tuesday already? When I adjusted my schedule at work I thought I would have all this extra time on my hands. Ha, ha, I seem to be busier than ever. We had such a fun time at the Vernon County Fair. It's the last fair of the season in Wisconsin. At first my daughter was hesitant to go on the rides but by the end she was going full boar! Of course the cheese curds, loaded nachos, homemade shakes, and mini donuts were yummy too. Plus I didn't know there were so many types of roosters. It's always fun to meander through the animal barns. The weather was very cool and fall like but that enabled us to have a fire and have some family time without a TV going. Just adults and kids of various ages, talking and laughing. We were also able to meet my nieces five month old Huskie Ava. What a beautiful face, and a sweet personality to match. It's always good to see family. I've been working on the tenth step. A daily inventory, or as my sponsor likes to say 'putting the day to bed". This time for personal reflection will be good for me in that I think it keeps one humble. The trick is to gently take a look, not beat yourself up. Not to criticize or critique yourself to death. But to honestly look at the day, to take note of things you would do differently. To open your mind to change. I'm trying to view this as a time to "relign" my thinking and doing. Sort of a daily "tune up". It also helps keep a person in the present, the here and now. I can see why this is considered a "maintenance step". And something else I've been working on is noticing all the "subtle" reminders of my disease that are given to me each day. Whether it's observing someone who has traits similiar to my own, how their display of behavior can mimick my own, and allow me to keep my attitude in check to gratitude. As I walked through the living room last night I noticed that my oldest was watching a show on MTV. Not my first choice in TV viewing but this show deals with a person who goes around shadowing other people's lives and giving us a glimps into their world on a daily basis. Last night he was spending a week with a young homeless girl. He did everything she did, from sleeping under trees to digging in dumpsters, to begging for food. The more he got to know her the more resilent he realized she was. She was happy, full of spirit, and even had a little dog that followed her all the time. At one point in the week they dig up enough recyclables to pay for bus tickets to get back to her hometown so she can get her social security card, so she can get an ID and a job etc. We learn why she left within a few minutes of meeting her parents. Alcohol, abuse, not feeling worth anything to anybody. It's heart breaking to see someone who feels they have no worth to anyone. They were able to get her SS card and head back to San Francisco. She talked about having nothing and yet being happy. She had genuine gratitude for those who show her compassion and she wants to someday give back. It was a very good reminder of what we really need in life. Self worth, someone to love and love us, gratitude, and humility. When I went upstairs to my room, to do my readings and put my day to bed, I asked my HP to continue watching over this young woman, and I also thanked him for reminding me that my program works if I work it, that I have self worth, and people whom I love, but most of all it humbled me. If this young woman can feel happy and blessed, then my cup runneth over..........


  1. so cool to be able to see that change in people....and glad you had fun at the fair...wish we had one around here...

  2. With a roof above, a floor below, food in a cold box, a computer, scooter, DROID phone, etc., and violin--and SOBRIETY--I should be happy, JOYFUL and free always. But there are those brief moments when: "Am I worth anything to ANYBODY?" seeps into my brain.

    It is the disease, Alcoholism, telling me I have not a disease and that I only need a drink or two or twenty-two...to 'feel better'.

    Thanks for your interesting post, and for putting up with my 'sermon'--grin!


  3. 'the trick is not to be too hard yourself' - I can relate to that. I am still learning this trick. I enjoyed reading the gratitude in your post. Thanks!