Dealing with a big plate of yuk....

Yep, that's the truth. I'm dealing with a big plate of yuk. Actually just a bunch of financial stuff that needs to be dealt with, and until I had some recovery time in I couldn't deal with it. But you can't put stuff off forever so I decided that this would be the week to deal with it. What I hate is how financial stress adds to marital stress. I mean I don't think my husband and I can have a five minute conversation about this stuff without raising our voices. The blame game. Taking responsibility. I'm not worried about the past, I just want to move forward. My husband is busy pointing out things from the past, and not moving into the present. This makes me want to scream! And when he yells my first response is flight. I become a little girl, and I want to go hide somewhere. I am really trying to fight this impulse. I don't have the urge to drink, but I do have the urge to run. I've really had to call on my program to get me through. To recognize my urges as behaviors of the past that can't be acted on. So it's yuky, I feel yuky, and yet somehow I am managing to just keep plodding along. Taking care of business, and letting the words fall where they may. Oh and it's raining again! Big surprise there! My gardens are water logged and my daughter has been going crazy if there is a rumble of thunder. Pray for me, I need strength this week. My HP is with me, but at times I just feel frustrated and full of tears. None of this happened over night and it's not going to get fixed overnight. Especially the marriage part. I used to obsess if everything wasn't running smoothly between us, now I can let things hang for a bit, and let time take it's course. I hope you are all having a better week than I am. Off to do some more paperwork.....