My least favorite character defect......

I know I've mentioned before that I'm competitive. But yesterday I found myself being petty because of it. I struggle to be always genuinely happy for people when things seem to be really going their way. It's about a couple that we know that good things seem to be happening to them a lot lately. It bugs me. Yes, I know that's petty but I'm shooting for the truth here. So I let it bother me all day yesterday. And you know my mind it starts racing on how I can have all these great things happen to me, and how I can one up them. This has been a wonderful trait that I have dealt with for years, but it left me crabby yesterday. I let it dictate my mood. I found by the afternoon I wasn't liking myself at all. So I slowly started changing my mood. Before I would have drank because then I would have felt better, like there might be control in it for me. But now I know what little if any control I have. One thing that helped was my husband and oldest son went to a movie. I put the two smaller children to bed, and then I took some time for me. By the time my husband got home I was in a much better frame of mind. I was reading in bed, and he came in and we talked, and he asked to see my three month coin, and I realized how stupid I had been. But I am glad I went through this yuky emotion because it made me aware of the fact that I can have emotions, that I can look at myself truthfully, and that I can get through it without alcohol and end the day on a better note than it started. That's growth for me. That and the fact that I'm not dwelling on it for days and days. Once again tools for living. I can honestly say this is one character defect that I am very ready for God to remove. It does not serve me well, and it gets me nothing. So lesson learned. I guess you can say it was a Mother's Day gift from myself, and who would have thought that a little growth could mean so much......