Fridays at the busy house........

When I was still drinking Friday nights were to say the least a nightmare. My oldest son always has one or two buddies staying over, and if you've ever watched 15 yr. olds eat you know you can't have enough food and milk in the house. Not to mention their size 13 shoes all piled up by the back door and the rock music blaring loudly. My two smaller children had most of the neighborhood in our backyard or in the house playing, and I was always running "this one here" and "that one there". I always ended the day with an extended cocktail hour and would crawl into bed feeling no pain. All this activity used to drive me crazy. I felt like the Grinch when he's looking down at the Who's and he says, "The Noise, oh the Noise!" I was always trying to run and hide. I thought my skin was crawling most of the time, and all I wanted was peace. Well what a difference two months makes. My house is still as busy as ever: tonight my daughter is going to a "friendship gathering" with all the little girls in her class, I need to pick up my youngest son, and the oldest with his friends, go back to work for an hour, pick up my daughter, go home, get my middle son, a quick trip through Target, drop them off at a friends and head home to meet my sponsor at 6:00. Whew, just thinking about it is exhausting. But what has changed is my attitude: extra kids at the house means my children are sociable and have lots of friends, other kids feel comfortable in our home which is a good thing, I have a life that is busy and full, and I get to spend my Friday nights with an awesome woman who is my sponsor working the steps. I will go to bed sober, read, and wake up minus a hangover. I just am in awe how fast and how many good things have happened in my live in just two months. Tonight my sponsor and I start the fourth step. She called me yesterday and asked me if I was ready. I was able to say yes without fear. When people first talked about their fourth step I was terrified. I don't want to look at all that stuff! But now that I've worked steps one through three I am ready. I won't take this journey alone. God, my sponsor, and all those who support me will be there. I need to open up the closet and dig all those "skeletons" out. It's time.

Tomorrow will be busy with the school carnival, and my 11:00 AA meeting. Working on projects around the house and attending a speaker meeting at 7:00. The person who is speaking is the man who answered the hotline the day I called. We have since become friends, and I have a special fondness for his journey as he made the difference for me to be able to walk through those doors. I am glad that I will get to hear his story. I asked my husband to come with me...there was a pause on the line...and then he said YES! I almost fell over. We are making progress little by little. Not perfection, but progress is right where I want to be. Tomorrow also marks my 2 month anniversary. I am eternally grateful to God, this program, all who support me ( u bloogers are awesome) and I am heading forward and I am
ready to become the person God always meant me to be.......