Tuesday, April 6, 2010

April Showers........

It is raining today and overcast. A good day to sit home and read. But work calls so that is not going to happen. Today I take my middle son to the orthodontist for a "consultation". When he was at the Dentist in January I was asked to come back so the Dr. could explain what was happening in his mouth. A cross bite that is actually pushing some of the lower teeth out front. In other words, correcting a bite, and full braces. We have some orthodontic coverage on our dental and flex spending so that will help. Before I would have freaked out. "How are we going to pay for this?" and I would have dwelt on that for days. Now I will calmly talk to the orthodontist, then communicate that information to my husband, and then we will decide what to do, all the while giving it to God, and realizing that it will all be taken care of. Handing that "worry" part over to God is starting to help me so much. I no longer feel the knotted up anxiety that I used to feel in my chest. I was always wound way too tight. I've let the kids claim their rooms as their own, only asking for a "clean up" when I can no longer see the floor. My sponsor suggested that I put away my rigid "pick up" policy and let my children enjoy their rooms. I was crazy with having to have everything in it's place, never a dish in the sink, the entire house picked up before I left for work. At first I was not crazy about the idea. But then she said, "I'm not saying become a slob, but your kids need to feel relaxed in their environment and you really only need to have everything picked up when you are having people over." She was right, I can now leave dishes in the sink if I have to, the kids can have things out in their rooms, and I can deal with picking things up when I get to them. It's funny how much change can happen when you just let things happen. When you put away trying to control and just let things unfold, you start to become more calm. I wanted everything done right now, today and not tomorrow. I'm starting to learn how to wait. Everything is a process and not to be completed over night. This has made my journey in AA much more attainable to me. I need to slow down, enjoy the trip no matter what is handed my way, and trust God that he will take care of it in his time not "my" time. Who ever thought that at 41 I would learn the beauty of patience, the integrity of trust, and the ability to breath........


  1. Someone once said we may not have had the happiest childhoods, but we've certainly had the longest ones! At least we get to enjoy those lessons for the next 41+ years. Take care!

  2. Recovery work has shown me a number of assets that I had. They were there all the time but just needed to be uncovered. Glad that you are here.

  3. it's good to see ourselves progressing in recovery, isn't it? sometimes we're the last to see the changes in our attitudes and reactions, but when we do notice, it's wonderful!

    as my sponsor would say, "keep going"