Thursday, July 1, 2010


My daughter is terrible at keeping secrets. The second she has one she has to spill it to someone, anyone. It's almost comical and we've learned to only tell Grace things that we don't mind other people knowing..... At last night's women's group we talked about secrets. I am always amazed at the resilance people seem to have when it comes to privacy. We just about turn ourselves inside out so "nobody knows" and yet too often people do know. I was always the smiling mom, with three kids in tow, and a few extras (friends of my sons). I remember going to a parent teacher conference and having a teacher tell me as I was waiting ,"You always look so elegant". Now those of you who know me well can laugh, if you stop over, you'll find me barefoot, in old jeans, covered with dirt or paint. But when this was said to me I thought, "if you only knew what a train wreck I am on the inside". Before the meeting I was searching through a box of papers when I came across a picture of me from Alex's confirmation. I was so tired looking, bloated, I didn't even look like myself. What a difference a year can make. So getting back to secrets we all shared what we hide. One woman hides the pain from a stale marriage, and an actively using son, another hides the struggles with getting older, a tired body, hard economic times, another is hiding the fact that it bothers her that all her family and friends will be drinking around her at the lake this weekend and the list goes on. One lady brought it all in perspective for us when she said, "all the stupid stuff I did when I was drinking, I thought I was unique, but then I came to AA and when I shared other people said they had done that too" . What a gift when you connect with someone else who has been there. You are so excited to find out you are not alone. I treasure the people in the meetings because they get me. They aren't looking at me like I'm a nut job or policing me, or critizing me. They just offer up smiles, laughter, and head nodding. A place to that's a secret worth sharing.........


  1. secrets keep us apart..most of them anyway...and we buy the lie that we are unique in our struggles that no one will understand...all to keep us stuck...glad you found your place to connect and be you...

  2. There are some things that are best kept to ourselves, though.

    Would you e-mail me at I can't find an e-mail address for you. I have a favor to ask, for my daughter actually.

  3. I don't like secrets or those who keep them. It prevents trust IMO. And if I can't trust another, then it is difficult to sustain a relationship.