Thursday, July 22, 2010

And I did it all without a ........

Sometimes at meetings I contribute, sometimes I don't. I contribute by listening. Contribute to my sobriety that is by listening to those who have gone before. At a meeting the other night people were talking about what they had survived. One man who I shall call P had survived 6 surgeries in 6 months. He is battling kidney issues right now, is in and out of the hospital, but he's always at the meetings. He talked a bit about all that he had survived. Numerous health problems, some of which are still present, relationships both good and bad, financial hell and back, and through it all you can see in eyes the quiet peace he has found through the program. He ended by saying, "I survived it all without a drink". Another lady spoke of her troubles: a month in a mental hospital, a divorce, bankruptcy, loss of job, raising two kids on her own, and she too ended with , "I survived it all without a drink". To the average person this is no big deal. What's so big about not having to take a drink? But to those of us who have the disease or have been touched by those with the disease, this is no easy task. Alcohol was my side kick. If I had a bad day, alcohol would make it better, if I was having financial problems, alcohol could make those disappear. If I was happy, mad, confused, disappointed, guilty or full of shame, alcohol would take it all away. You get to the point where it becomes the catalyst to everything you do. You can't imagine your world without it. And you will fight, justify and protect it at all costs, because the really sick part of the disease is when it convinces you that you can't live without it. You won't last a day without a drink. When I was talking to my coworker about her son I kept thinking, "If only I could make him understand that you will laugh, you will have fun, you will survive without alcohol". Getting over that first step: Admitting that you are powerless over alcohol. It's not such a voluntary act when your mind convinces you and your body that you will die without it. In the end drinking was a daily habit, like brushing my teeth. It was just another part of my day. I didn't know how I was going to give it up. Until I tried, and trusted, and cried, and laughed, and realized that it was not blood, it was not oxygen, it was not needed to live a rich and fulfilling life.(AA Promises) But it takes time, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but always if you work for it...........


  1. i am glad you made it through that....and you will tell him with how you live your life...hope you have a wonderful day!

  2. In God's time...I forget that sometimes.

  3. Good for you! I'm rooting for you.