Busy, busy, busy......

Yes, as you can see from the title I've been busy! What I thought was going to be a relaxing weekend well....not so much. Saturday I woke up and grabbed the dog and headed for the vet. Jack was going to get groomed and updated on his rabies shot. I race in the door only to find out our groomer has injured herself and will need surgery. They have no idea how long she will be out. Our groomer Emily is so good, Jack goes in like a mutt and comes out looking like "best in show", so I hope it's not too serious because this could potentially hurt her career and she is very talented. So he got his shot, and then I loaded his dirty self back into the car and we headed home so I could get ready for my meeting. I went to the morning meeting and then home and grabbed my two youngest. We headed to the mall (not my favorite place) to do some father's day shopping and then off to the softball game cookout for the dad's at AA. My husband was helping a friend roof his sick father's house, and we were also dog sitting. After the park we had more errands to run and then I met some of my AA buds for a bonfire. I left the bonfire at 9:00 and had to still do the grocery shopping. Nothing like putting groceries away at 10:30 at night. Sunday I was up early for my meeting, gave my sponsor a ride home, stopped at the grocery store once more because someone at AA had given me a yummy peanut butter pie recipe, and then went home and proceeded to pretty much cook all day. We had my parents, and our best friend's over for dinner, and it was such a gorgeous evening we ate outside with the lights in the garden and candles. My husband put the kids to bed and I cleaned up the kitchen and collapsed on the couch and didn't wake up until 6:00 am. As I drove to work I kept thinking that I needed to have a day off to recover from the weekend. I was sluggish at work, dragged my butt through my gym workout, came home to mounds of laundry that had to be put away and I'm quite sure some other family threw their clothes in with ours because I thought they would never end. Made supper and finally am getting around to blogging. What's suffering? My sanity. I miss how I felt when I first came to the program. My life slowed down a little, I made a lot more time for myself, and now I can barely read in bed for ten minutes before falling asleep. Many times my husband says he finds me sound asleep with book in hand. When I don't say no, when I forget to simplify, when I think I can take on any task, I suffer. I get so wrapped up in ME and not HP and the program that I start to feel blue. And today I feel blue. Tired, worn out and blue. My sponsor remarked to me yesterday that I looked like I needed a day off, that perhaps I was over doing it, but you know my alcoholic mind, I smiled bright and said "I'm fine". She looked me straight in the eye and said, "don't bullshit a bullshitter". I promised her I would try to refocus and simplify. It's hard, you start living life on life's terms, you're not drinking and suddenly you start to feel self-reliant. But you can't do it alone. I have learned a valuable lesson from these last few days and that's that I need to follow the steps of the program, give myself some time, and most of all KEEP IT SIMPLE! So point taken, I'm going to take a warm bath, and then my two youngest and I are going to watch "UP" it's an awesome movie with awesome life lessons, something I could use right now. I hope all you dad's had a great Father's Day and I did solve one problem. I called "Paws are Us" a mobile pet grooming service, and while Jack's not quite "best in show", he's trimmed, clean, and no longer smells like a dog and for now that's good enough for me.........