Sunday, June 13, 2010

And more will be revealed.......

People have said this to me over and over. At first I would smile and nod (like what the hell are you talking about) and now I answer them with "I can't wait!" Friday before my sponsor came over I stopped at Barnes and Noble to pick up a CD and my music "hook up" was working. He's a young college kid that I struck up a conversation with and he's an incredible source for every genre you want to listen to. So he saw what I was buying a certain artist and recommended a live uncut version of this person on another CD and of course it's great!(John Mayer if you are wondering) I ignore the tabloids and appreciate his guitar talent. I had forgotten for quite a while how much I love music. Having a gift card to Target I bought myself an I-Pod shuffle and had my son and his friend start filling it up. Saturday on the way to the lake I began to notice how beautiful Wisconsin is. I know most people think of farms, cows, and cheese when they hear Wisconsin but with all the rain we are having the farmland looks like quilt squares in shades of green, and the foliage and forests, and trees are lush, rich and cool. And speaking of cool, so were the temps., but it didn't discourage my children from trying out the new island, raft. I think when you are young you don't notice how cool the water is, you just focus on the fun. My mother and I headed to Goodwill to do a book run.As I was finding books for the kids I came across a sweet small volume of "Jacki Kennedy Onasis's Favorite Poems". It's written by her daughter Caroline Kennedy. Well I know a good deal when I see one, and it was in excellent shape, so I nabbed it. Back at the cabin before the afternoon fire, I opened this little treasure up and spent at least two hours in poetry land. Walt Whitman, Robert Frost, Alfred Lord Tennyson, Langston Hughes, Lord Byron, William Carlos was like a family reunion. I have a bachelor of arts in English, and spent many a semester with these people. I had forgotten how much I missed them. The rain set it so we all retreated indoors to a comfortable evening of reading and games. My husband and I crawled in bed with the window open and were serenaded to the songs of frogs, and rain drops softly falling through the trees. I finally got it....more will be revealed. I had been reminded of two things from my past that I love, and that I do not plan on loosing track of anytime soon. I think one of the reasons I pushed these two interests to the back burner was because they happened at a painful time in my life. It was my fourth semester in college, I was ending a two and a half year relationship, I had just gotten over a terrible sickness, weighed 105 lbs. and my spirit was broken. Thank goodness my parents let me drop out of school and come home. I think I slept for a month and I will always be grateful for that reprieve. I returned to college when I was 27, married and with a three year old. My son was five and I still remember him clapping at my graduation. But then life got busy, and bad times happened, and many things I loved got pushed aside. Then the drinking got worse and in my darkest days I thought of nothing but numbing the pain away. By working this program I am learning to accept my past. I don't have to love it, but I can be objective about it. I do love music, all kinds, after all I grew up with two older brothers so I've been through Elton John, AC/DC, Neil Diamond, the 80's I love many types of music. And poetry, you dear old friend, how so much can be said with a small amount of words. My children and I read every night and tomorrow I think I will read them "The Midnight Run of Paul Revere" I've been to those beautiful places, stood in the old North church, and I want my children to know our American history. Yes, there have been times when more has been revealed that isn't so great, memories I didn't want to face, but walking through that pain makes me appreciate the times when good things are revealed. Today ended with my children and I taking our nightly bike ride and getting caught in the rain. Before this would have set me off but tonight I just laughed and we came home like drown rats.... life is good and it's been revealed to me that I have a pretty good sense of humor, rain and all.......


  1. thanks for this post :) more will be revealed...I'm glad you've reunited with your love of music and poetry

  2. Beautiful new background design! I miss the green of the Midwest in the summertime (is Wisconsin part of the Midwest? Well it's green, anyway). Especially the crickets.

  3. smiles. sounds like a beautiful moment on the bike ride...john mayer is the his music...i have pretty eclectic taste in music as well...thanks for the glimpse into you past as well...i was well on my way to dopping out of school but i met my wife...

  4. 'By working this program I am learning to accept my past. I don't have to love it, but I can be objective about it.'

    this is golden...

    thanks for sharing...


  5. love your new blog setting...

    Glad that you have come to a wise conclusion about your past.
    Sweet and reflective post.

  6. It sounds like a nice evening and a beautiful setting. The past is some place that I don't dwell too long. I just want to do my best to stay in this day.