Thursday, April 15, 2010

Off Balance......

Thursday and I'm a bit off balance. Not feeling the best and this is a week that has brought mixed experiences and feelings. I attended an all day seminar that I had completely forgotten about. This required that I make arrangements to get the kids to and from school at the last minute. Then I find out that another blogger has decided to call it quits. This makes me sad, as I value all the bloggers I've come to know. But I understand.So while I'm feeling blue my sponsor calls and she has an infection in her left eye that has now settled into her cheek. She's not allowed to work or be in contact with other humans until she gets the clear from the Doctor. So we won't be working together Friday night. My husband is heading up north, and my daughter is staying with my mother. My schedule has been flipped upside down and backwards. Living life on life's terms. Hmmmm.....I like my schedule, my routine. Like discipline I enjoy the familiarity of a routine. It makes me feel secure, I know what to expect. This is funny since my husband said to me the other day, "I got used to the person you used to be". Ahhhh, so did I. Perhaps that's why I cling to routine, it's something that gives me assurance when new sobriety has me spinning in all directions. And yet part of me says I need to step out of my comfort zone. I need to go with the flow. I've found some of my old habits creeping up on me this week. Irritability, impatience, exhaustion and hunger. So today I will go home, exercise, eat and head to a meeting. If it's one thing I can count on, it's the fact that I will get strength, hope and encouragment from my fellow AA peeps. My higher power doesn't change either, he is always their for strength. And if I really think about it the only thing that can be adjusted is my reaction. I don't have to slip back into my old ways just becuase I'm out of sorts. This is life, I need to learn to accept life on life's terms. Do I always like it? NO!!!!! am I willing to try something thaat works, so I will stand up a little taller, straighten up my posture, and ask God to guide me. Grateful to be sober today......


  1. I've seen bloggers come and go.

    Some come and go and come and go and come and go

    The great thing is, this particular corner of the blog-o-sphere is always counting new fellows into it's realm.

    Glad you are still here and writing honestly. Grateful you're here and sober with us all today! :)

  2. There is flux every where. It is just the nature of things and people. I am glad for the dynamics and that things aren't always the same. I hate to lose touch with people but it is ultimately their choice. I too am glad that you are here. Hang in there. Balance will be restored soon.