Friday, April 16, 2010

Morning surprise.........

The alarm went off and after I dragged my body out of bed, I realized it's Friday. I don't know why Friday holds so much hope as a day of the week. Maybe it's because you know you don't have to set the alarm tonight, you can stay up late and not worry about the consequences, or that two whole days are just yours to do what you want (not always but most of the time). Whatever the reason I tend to move a little quicker on Friday mornings. I came downstairs, walked into the kitchen, and there on the table was a surprise for me. My husband had built me a brand new windowbox. It's beautiful. Red cedar and smells so wonderful. This particular box will replace the one that used to hang under the large kitchen window. I love this box. It hangs outside the kitchen and faces south so the flowers grow crazy in the sun. At times they even trail to the ground. You can sit at the table and hear the soft buzzing of the bees, and smell the sweetness of the flowers that the breeze carries through the screen. I can't wait to hang it, and fill it with gorgeous flowers. When my daughter was born, we built another box for her window so she can open her blinds and be greeted by happy flowers. I am most contented when I'm working out in the sun, in the gardens, being sung to by happy bees, and entertained by butterflies. Yes, to me the closest thing to heaven is a beautiful garden. I am so grateful to have such a pretty city yard, filled with flowers and plants. Not that it isn't a lot of work, but for my alcoholic mind it channels that energy and restores peace. I have a few projects I'm working on: an old door, an old chair etc.. and I plan on placing these in my gardens. I also noticed that I could do some more weeding, so since the weather is suppose to be sunny and in the 60's I have my weekend plans.
It's funny how coming to sobriety has made my life so much more simplistic. The caos of "life" pops up, rocks the boat a little but sooner than later is disappears. The house will be quiet unless my oldest son has friends over, but the most I hear is just the beat of rock music coming from his room. I'm working through my fourth step. Resentments isn't coming so easy. Any suggestions? I have a few, but am afraid I might be missing some by not knowing what I'm looking for. I mean I've accidentally dug out perrennials by not paying attention so I'm sure I could miss this as well. I'm viewing resentments as things I have chewed over and over in my mind. It's funny how long ago some of those happened. I like the fact that in sobriety you can step back and take a good look at yourself. With some of the things I see, I have to laugh or I would be overwhelmed. What a pain in the _ss I was. But what a joy to take note of it so I don't repeat that behavior again. Sobiety is a lot like gardening, there's beauty there but also a lot of weeds, some plants need to be moved, others nutured, and others removed entirely. What a big job this is, but so is gardening, and I know when all is said and done the rewards can be amazing....


  1. What a nice Friday surprise. Resentments and weeds, nice comparison. The more I worked on my 4th Step, the more things I kept coming up with. One of the things that I did was to mentally play through the years of my life, trying to remember who my teachers were in school and what was going on, and then doing the same thing with each job that I've had. I came across a lot of things that way that I might never have gotten to otherwise. Good luck with it!

  2. I heard something at a meeting once that made sense to me. Resentments are when things didn't go my way in the past. Anger is when I don't get my way now and fear is when I don't think I will get my way in the future. That kept is simple for me. Resentments are a toughee for me too. ::hugs:;


  3. I don't like those resentments. Mostly I have resented myself for being loyal to those who have treated me badly. Loyalty can be a good thing but motive of loyalty has to be considered as well.