Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Life is fragile. You hear people say that but rarely do I put it into context. Yet, everything can change in an instant. Talk to people whose lives have never been the same, changed by a single moment in time. I tend to forget how fragile my world is. But once you set your vulnerability out for the world to see, it looks very small and breakable. Sometimes in AA people expose the fragility of their worlds. You don't have to, you're not required to but truth is the only way to set yourself free. Its heartbreaking to listen to someone admit that they took a drink. Perhaps they just celebrated so many days of sobriety, and then in an instant its gone. The mind loves to play tricks with you. It likes to tell you, "You don't need this program, look how good you're doing, you're not like them, besides do you really want to do this for the rest of your life?!" And just when you think you've got it together the glass shatters. Someone gives you a dose of how fragile your world is. One second, one sip, and the freight train starts moving. In AA there's a saying : "It's not the cabose that kills you , its the engine" (meaning the first drink). Fragile goes along with humble, and the need to let your higher power be in control. We have no control. Each day I now ask God to lead me. To guide me in the direction he wants me to go. God made a committment to me a long time ago. I just realized I never committed back. Its the committment to God that makes the difference. And on the days I'm really fragile, I like to imagine that he's holding me in the palm of his hand. He's got your back. Life is fragile, we all need a safety net.