Thursday, April 7, 2011

Zero Accountability...

This morning while working at my desk I overheard a conversation between our companie's dispatcher and a truckdriver. My door was cracked open enough to hear the both of them clearly. This man was definately opinionated. He had a view point on everything from the president (who was nothing but an idiot) to all the "queers" in the military, to "there wasn't anything wrong with George Bush" to "who the hell is going to run for president next time". He kept calling Mike Huckaby "Huckleberry" and he ranted and raved for over a half hour. I woke up with a migraine on the right side of my head this morning, and after he left I can tell you it was quickly spreading. The dispatcher knowing that I had listened poked her head in and said with a "devilish" smile, "you're tongue bleeding yet?" I just laughed. By now I should be used to this sort of thing. Talk like this is pretty common in the factory part of the business I work for. During the last presidental election there were many heated debates between workers, and if you thought outside the box you were labeled "one of those bleeding heart librals!" I can only imagine what has been said about me. I heard comments when I pierced my nose. My favorite being, "why would a mother of three want her nose pierced! What kind of message is she sending those kids!" Well to know me you would laugh at that statement. I look like a pretty conservative person, but I definately think out of the box. This is an area in which my hubby and I clash, but when my ultra conservative brothers are complaining about my liberal ways he always says, "she definately has her own opinions". And really I could care less what you believe in. My opinion is just that my opinion. Yours belongs to you. If you have strong convictions about something by all means defend them, but do not try to make me feel that I am wrong, or evil, or helping ruin society because I feel differntly towards something. I can't stand that form of "smug" judgement that comes from people when they think it's their way and no other. If no two people are created the same then why should we all think the same way? I even see this in the rooms of AA. People who feel meetings and traditions can only be run in a certain fashion. Only certain books can be read, you must live a severe tacturn way of life once you sober up. And there's the other extreme where people sit and hand you every excuse as to why they drink and remember it's never their fault. I didn't want it to be my fault either when I came in. I used to think "I drink because I'm a working mother of three, with a husband who works every evening, no help, I have to do everything, I'm so everwhelmed that the only way for me to relax is drink'. No, instead of actually looking at the situation and taking responsibility for my life I wanted to blame everything and everyone. I was the victim, how could I also be the problem. Because I was the one with the disease of alcoholism. I had to take accountability for my actions. I didn't want to but if I wouldn't have done it, I never would be where I am. I would still be drinking. It's always so easy so flip out words, to throw accusations, to act as if you have all the answers. It's much harder to accept your own part of the blame. I tend to be more quiet about things, as where before I would have jumped in and shot my mouth off, upsetting myself and another person. Now I just know that I have to take care of my own self. We can have different ideas and opinions. There's not a "good side" vs. "bad side". And growth comes in not trying to change someone else's mind to match yours. Listen, evaluate, and learn from other people. You may just be surprised at what you uncover.....


  1. Oh no! I feel your pain..You have an ultra-conservative brother too??? I like your one line there. "Listen, evaluate and learn from other people"..Living in Italy and later marrying into a Cuban family certainly allowed me to learn a lot!! And my tongue 'bleeds a lot too'.. :-)

  2. smiles. i feel it too...fairly conservative fam...and i am the liberal...oh well....leads to some interesting convos...

  3. I wrote about "choosing battles" the other day. It would have been SO not worth it to call any attention to the ignorant, seemingly uneducated conversation you over-heard. Religion, politics, and certian social issues really do deserve integrity and discernment when choosing to reveal your stupidity. There's a time and a place. Many choose to ignore this

    I used to SEEK out conflict; if it wasn't brewing, I created it - relished it, thrived on it - made me feel normal. Today,, I choose battles with a great deal of critical thinking weighing out all of the aspects.

    Life is too miserable darting around putting out fires and/or starting them 24/7


  4. hahah last night hubby and I went to our "small group" which is a group of people through our church we "do life" with. It's fun. But we're each different and seriously I actually looked at hubby and said "aren't you glad it's the new me here with you" at one point.

    I also used to seek debates, my version was always more informed in my own mind and i loved one upping others on facts.

    Now I love sitting listening, absorbing.