Mom on the edge....

Not really but Friday after work I did something I never thought I would do. I had the right side of my nose pierced with a very tiny diamond stud. And I love it. My husband likes it, of course our 16 year old likes it, and I've had lots of compliments on it. Why? What posesses a 41 year old mother to walk into a Tattoo/Piercing establishment and get her nose pierced? I'm coming up on my one year of sobriety, and my 42nd. birthday and my oldest son and I were discussing tattoo's and piercings and I said, "I've always liked a tiny diamond stud nose piercing", so Alex says, " Do it mom!" Do it to mark the journey of this year". So I thought about it all the next day at work, and came to the conclusion that he was right. This has been a journey of blind faith, trusting that I could face the past, reconcile it, deal with the hurt and pain I caused others and myself. To feel all emotions be they happy, sad, painful, joyful etc. and to keep living in the moment. So I pulled in and did it. Now had I known how big the needle was, that the area wouldn't be frozen, and that forceps were involved I may have thought twice, but in my usual fashion I just jumped in. The nicest guy did it, and he even was helping fix my makeup because my eyes wouldn't stop running, but within two hours the pain was gone and I forget I even have a nose piercing. To me it stands as a symbol of what the last year has been. I cannot grow without periods of pain, and difficulties. I cannot change the past, or avoid the future. I can survive pain, and make it to the other side. So all in all I'm pleased with my decision. Saturday night the Monday night "Freedom" group had a potluck and speaker meeting. I love speaker meetings. The guest speaker was from a different part of Wisconsin and what a great story he told. From having everything, to loosing everything, to living in a rat infested apartment for $75.00 to finding his way into AA, getting a great sponsor and begining to rebuild his life. His wife had the divorce papers ready but never filed and they were able to save their marriage. He son who lived in fear is now graduating college with honors. He was accepted back into a profession he loves and he is zealous about the program. I so love to hear the stories because they just keep reaffirming what so many of us know. This program works if you work it. As I have said before I could listen to stories from AA members all day long. It reminds me of how much work I've done, how much more lies ahead, and how I never want to return to where I was. So this morning as I was putting my makeup on, the light caught the diamond chip and sent a small glitter of light across the mirror. Where there is darkness, there can be light, where there is despair, there can be hope, where there is sadness joy and I am delighted and privileged to be a part of it all. Monday blessings......