Winding down.......

Survived the Christmas holiday. Actually it was relaxing and very enjoyable once we had everything ready. Thursday was a bit crazy but one awesome thing that happened was that Alex went for his first check up and dressing change. The Dr. did x-rays and his toe is now beautifully aligned with the rest of his toes. He is able to put a little more pressure on the foot now and has actually gone out of the house for a few short trips here and there. So that was good news. Thursday night when I arrived at my meeting after an insane trip through Wal-Mart I was surpised to see so many people there. It's a closed meeting but so many people had the next day off, and were in town that they came. It was an awesome meeting. So many great stories shared, so much insight. I love the "rush" that comes when you get to experience an AA meeting at it's best. It just set my mood for Christmas. I was able to see an old friend of mine at Church the next day, and Christmas Eve and Christmas day were spent with my parents. Everyone was happy with their gifts and now it's a matter of eating leftovers and enjoying their (the kids) weeks off of school. So while most people go out in search of bargains the day after, I headed to the library. For once I actually got a parking spot. I'm currently reading "Dry" by Augusten Burroughs. I love to read addiction memoirs. I think because we are all so different yet all so the same. Augusten has lived a life so insane and terrible at times that it's truly amazing that he has carved out his own sobriety. He talks about his first AA meeting. How incredible it was so be in a place where you feel safe for the first time in your life. I remember that feeling, I still love that feeling. I am careful with whom I share things with, and I stick true to my convictions and avoid the gossip pit. He talks about how good those first few weeks are but little by little you watch life creeping up on him. To me this is when you really have to roll up your sleeves and get to work. It's like the maintenance part of a diet. It's make or break. My twelve steps were easy compared to daily living. As alcoholics we spend so much time not living that for us the normal functions of day to day can be overwhelming. It takes about two seconds for me to slip into an old pattern and yet my HP is so good about teaching me daily. Last week I went into a bar for the first time since I've been sober, and I had a "diet coke" with my co-workers and you know I realized I don't miss the atmosphere nor do I want it in my life. How nice is that?! We could be going out to dinner with friends on New Year's Eve but we've chosen to stay home with our kids instead. I'm ok with the ordinary, I've missed out on it for so long, that at times it seems all new to me. No one can imagine unless they've been there what a precious commodity living a normal, simple life is. It's boundless in what it gives back if you let it. A few weeks ago I was with some friends, and as we stepped from the restaurant out into the day, I said, 'Oh look the sun is coming out, doesn't that just change your outlook on the day?" It was quiet for a few moments until one of my friends said "you know you're right the sun does make things feel better!" I can't always carry the pink cloud feeling of AA with me. I've tried, and there is too much of life that gets in the way. But I can choose my attitude, even if it's a bad one, and I can choose how long I'm going to stay in that attitude, and I make a difference not only in my life but in someone else's as well. That is one awesome gift that keeps on giving......smiles.....