Soul Searching....

This past weekend while my mother was staying with us we watched three movies. This is big, because I can barely sit through an hour of TV before I have to get up and do something. The first was "Eat, Pray, Love". I finished reading this book back in September. I liked both the book and the movie. I have heard people criticize Elizabeth Gilbert's journey. Some say it was self centered, she only cared about herself. But I disagree. I set out to find myself this past year. I get the journey. Yes, it is self centered by the healthier I become the better off those around me seem to be getting. I can give of myself without fear, without hesitation. If that is being self centered then I am guilty. The second movie was "Julie & Julia". I've watched this movie before but once again I love the journey. My husband gave me Julia Child's "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" for Christmas last year and I must say it is a trip and I can make an awesome Beef Bourguignon. Like Julie the blogger, blogging has helped save me. It gave me another channel for my thoughts and feelings. I also read Julia Child's book about her adventures in Paris with her husband. This is when she first starts cooking, and she finds her true passion. Cooking is one of the best ways for my oldest son (who loves good food) to spend time together. In fact we will be "french cooking" on Christmas Eve. So thank you Julie and Julia, you gave me cooking and blogging. The last movie we watched was "Grey Gardens" with Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore. This story has always intrigued me. What really struck me was the fact that these two women shared such a strange, strong, bond, that their whole world was able to fall apart and away from them and yet they really only needed each other. The human spirit is amazing in what it can endure, what it can survive. Once again in search of "soul". I am so grateful that I started my own journey one cold, dark February night. It has been painful, it has been enlightening. It has been filled with despair, laughter, tears, and contentment. Someone asked me not so long ago if I felt lucky to be an alcoholic and I said Yes! Being an alcoholic has opened my eyes to what is important, it has made me accountable, it keeps me in the moment. I laugh more, love deeper, smile a lot, but most importantly I have a soul. A soul filled with happiness, sadness, hope, love, joy, etc... and ten months ago that soul was empty. True happiness lies within my Higher Power who lives and dwells within me. I need no presents this year because I've been given the best present of all, another chance to really live......Peace