Saturday, November 6, 2010

Taking the holidays off?! and other revelations....

I just picked Alex up from camp. He had such an awesome time. Came home with tons of new friends, all in his phone already, and talked 90 miles a minute all the way home. He had such an awesome time, all the food was healthy, they are huge on the environment, everyone had so much fun, and the best comment of all, "I wish it would have lasted a whole week!" Now that is priceless! Watching your child get opportunities and being able to let them go and grow is awesome!
Now back to my strange title. The other night as I was leaving a meeting, I asked my sponsor and another lady if they had seen this girl (we'll call her A) Everyone stopped and my sponsor said, "You know come to think of it I haven't seen her in quite a while". This person we were talking about is a really neat gal. She is funny, outgoing, and so much fun to be with. At my first month anniversary she passed along her first month coin to me. Then in the spring she went back out. And then at the beginning of summer she came back through those doors. She seemed to really want the program this time but I have a sinking feeling she's back out there. That's when my friend turned to me and said, "well it is that time of year. Many people take the holiday off". I looked at her and said, "what do you mean take the holidays off?" She answered, "they quit coming, go back out drinking to celelbrate the season and they will show up in January ready to start their program all over again." My sponsor shook her head "yes". We gals have been here over 21 years and we see it every holiday season. Now I maybe a little niave but this never crossed my mind. Why bother coming in at all. Do so few people really take their programs seriously? I mean if you do the steps, you get your "tools for living" and you work through the stress, anxiety, problems, and yes the holidays! You don't take them off because it's too much work to get through them! The more I thought about it the more absurd it became to me. When I think back to my life nine months ago and what a confused, screwed up mess I was I can't imagine throwing all the work, pain, tears, frustration and growth that I've done in that short amount of time away! You might as well go throw a few thousand dollars in the trash can. I'm living life. I'm in turmoil, job instability (hubby), bills to pay, kids to guide, obligations to fulfill but I can't in my wildest dreams imagine "taking the holidays off". I am so grateful to this program, to the people who have spent hours working with me. To the millions of stories I have listened to, to the hands I have held, or who have held mine while I cried. My sponsor could tell last night when we met last night that this was still bother me so she gave me some insight. "Not everyone makes it. It's not your job to make them make it. A lot of people talk the talk but few get to walk the walk. This is a selfish program. Guard your program, give to others through sponsorship but remember not everyone will make it. You have to accept that and pray for them." I laid it down. I'm not to judge. I need to just be grateful for my HP, my sponsor, my wonderful family, friends, bloggers and my program. As I've been told before, "just take care of your side of the street". I hope you are all having a wonderful Saturday, I'm cooking Alex's favorite "garlic chicken" and my parents are coming for dinner. Stay safe, stay sober, and stay happy......


  1. nice. glad alex had a great time...and hope you enjoy the chicken...yeah, we gotta take care of our side of the street...i hear that...

  2. I now have 7+ years of continuous sobriety coupled with a RECOVERY program. My relationship with a Higher Power makes this possible. This is why I'm still in awe every day that I get to experience this miracle.
    So few do.

  3. when I was drinking heavily the holidays were the worst. the stress of all the "shoulds" would wear me down emotionally and it was a good excuse to drink. Now instead of doing the things I think I "should" be doing I take a step back and pare down the holidays to fit what I want to do with them. if it means less Christmas cards and doing just lights and no tree...then I can live with that.

  4. have a lovely time.
    your blog is cool.

  5. How are you, friend?

    Glad to land on your exciting poetry land here.

    Welcome linking in 1-3 poems to our potluck today, Thanks in advance!

    Some awards will be assigned upon participation.

    First time participants can simply submit old poems.