Rewind......

The lake was beautiful. I did notice all the sumac and leaves that were starting to turn. Summer has a tired feel about her, even the heat seems to sigh and wants a rest. Came home early to get some things done. We organized the pantry, tried some new things, got the backpacks packed and ready for Thursday morning. My oldest was still gone so the house was quiet, and picked up for a change. That is until the phone calls that started happening when he got back in town "Mom, my phone is acting weird"
"Mom John might come over and Adam and Nathan too" "Mom what's for dinner?" "You need to grocery shop there's nothing in the house"....and on and on.....So last night I was greeted to a loud and noisy house when I walked in the door. I made dinner and called the boys up. Within seconds two boxes of hamburger helper and a pile of garlic bread disappeared. Not to mention a half gallon of milk. If you've ever seen locust attack..... afterwards I asked the boys to go sit on the back porch so I could take their picture. I had taken this picture before two summer's ago and wanted to shoot it again now that they are almost 16. If I was camera savvy you would see the picture but that might take a while. What I did notice is that these four boys had changed. Taller, looking more like men, shoulders more broad, and yet the smiles were still the same. Laughing, and enjoying life, what a sweet age to be 16. So much changes, and yet so much stays the same. What isn't staying the same is my schedule. I've expressed my panic about the school year on more than one occasion, and I was pondering the definition of insanity (doing the same thing over and over expecting different results) when it dawned on me that God gave me a brain, and initiative, I don't have to be the victim, I can set events in motion with my HP by my side. So I thought about it, I prayed about it and I approached my boss about it. I wanted to change my work schedule. Last year I took over an hour out of my work day to pick the kids up, take them home and them come back to work for an hour. This was a lot of driving around, time taken away from being productive and added to my confusion. So I asked if I could work 7 until 2:30. That way I could pick up my kids and be done for the day. I would have extra time for helping with homework, and my oldest wouldn't have to worry about joining clubs or sports anymore. I had to sell the idea, but yesterday afternoon I got the approval. Yea, my two youngest were thrilled, and my oldest is busy looking into what else he can join. This will also make my life easier. I can get dinner done earlier, homework help accomplished earlier, the stress of lack of time won't be so impending. A year ago I never would have asked for this. I wouldn't have thought enough of myself to realize how far I've come in my program. I guess this is where people "will go to any length for their sobriety". I'm starting to settle in to a more quiet, peaceful feeling on the inside. I'm not willing to throw that all away just because school is starting. Rewinding to a year ago, well it makes me shudder. I can't fully close the door on the past, it keeps me grounded as I need to learn from it. However I don't have to repeat it. I'm looking forward to the new school year. This is the first in a long time! So bring it on baby, show me what you got.....