Monday, August 30, 2010

A beautiful night

Saturday was great! Alex's birthday celebration was so much fun. The weather was warm but by evening it had cooled down and we were blessed with a breeze. However that breeze was a menace when it came to the candels which kept blowing out before he was able to blow them out. Sweet sixteen! I can hardly believe it. Friday evening he and I went shopping for school clothes. His shoes are huge, his waist barely visible. This is a rather difficult mission, as he hates clothes shopping but we managed to get quite a bit done and afterwards were able to have dinner, just he and I. He was full of stories, and laughter and questions. It's such a rare moment when a teenager gives you a glimps of their soul. Saturday morning he was up early, helping me prepare the nights dinner. It's fun to cook side by side. My sponsor and I had agreed to meet Saturday morning, and I was feeling the anxiety I haven't felt for a long time. For a split second what flashed through my mind was "boy, I could use a drink today", and I was like "say what?!" where did that come from. I knew I needed God and my sponsor right then and there. We met and I explained what was on my mind. My husband and I had been arguing the day before, I was feeling anxiety at all the things I needed to do before our guests got there, and on and on. She finally looked at me and said, "You are so busy with your tunnel vision that you're going to miss out on Alex's special day. Do what you can, don't be responsible for everything, ask for help and don't get so wrapped up in the doing that you miss out in the celebrating". Afterwards we went to the 11:00 meeting and I came home in a completely different frame of mind. I did what I could, I had help come over early and assist me in preparing snacks and setting up. We ate outside in the soft evening light. I put on the twinkle lights that run through the gardens. As darkness descended I was able to drink in my surroundings. Children laughing and eating Oreo blizzard birthday cake. My oldest smiling shyly, handsome, and just trying to be comfortable in his own skin. My bestie and her husband, my parents and my mother's best friend. Three dogs waiting for somebody to drop table scraps and a perfect summer night. Thanks to my HP and sponsor I didn't miss it. Realign my thinking, realign my attitude, and because of my HP, my sponsor, and my program, instead of regret I get to be filled with gratitude! A blessed Monday to you all......

5 comments:

  1. whew. glad you made the right decision then and there and sought help...and were able to enjoy the party...great header pic! happy birthday to him!

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  2. glad it all worked out. Sounds like a wonderful evening.

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  3. ahhhh, the power of AA, the miracle of recovery, the warmth and understanding of sponsorship... combine all of that with a 16 yr old who opens up on his b-day, an oreo blizzard ice cream cake and a gentle breeze and I cannot imagine what could be better!!!
    awesome post!

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  4. Instead of lemons, you got "suhweet taheee" (that's "sweet tea"--been traveling in the south, ya know?--grin!

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  5. Glad that you used the tools of the program. Happy Birthday to Alex. I can actually remember being 16. A kind of awkward time as I recall.

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