Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Feeling the need to apologize......
It's funny. When you start something new it is often accompanied by an apology. If you start a diet, people tend to either police you or make an excuse for what they are eating. Same with alcohol. I stopped at a friend's house the other night and this person had been drinking. When they saw it was me they started giving me excuses about their drinking, how they should stop, and on and on. I don't think I've given anyone the impression that I feel that they should stop drinking. I always emphasize that this is "my" choice. My husband will still drink once in a while. He can just have "a drink" unlike myself who knows if I have one I can guarantee I'll have more. This apologizing or justifying has happened a lot. I wish people didn't feel the need to apologize for their choices. This is something that I didn't expect to happen. And I hate how uncomfortable some people are around me now that I don't drink. I want to yell, "It's OK to drink, I'm just not going to!" Anyway does anybody have suggestions on how to act or handle these situations as they come up......?
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I think you just said it. If you nicely tell people often enough, sooner or later they'll get it and become more comfortable. Having said that, I think we sometimes don't get invited to dinner parties because people are uncomfortable in including us in what could be a pretty alcohol-laden evening.
ReplyDeleteThose situations still occur in my life when I am with even family--or good, old-time friends...and sometimes it is so far from what IS, that I cannot even believe what I'm hearing.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was drinking, I never complained about who was NOT, just those who WERE, especially if it was MY booze they were drinking
At first I would say, I'm not drinking today, thanks. The explanations will stop as time goes by. Now everyone know's I don't drink and it is no big deal. If it makes them feel better accept the apology and move on!
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine says that he has "had enough" which is true because he has during his drinking days. He is now 19 years sober.
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