Getting ready

It's the day before my first AA meeting. Work was rough. Not feeling the best after a few days of flu (yes, actual flu not hangover). Stopped to visit with my parent's after work and finally told them I was going to get sober. Not the kind of news you just drop over the dinner table. "Hey mom and dad, guess what?! I'm an alcoholic! Bet you never thought your kids would be one of those did you!" Mom was happy. The mother instinct knows. She said she noticed I had been drinking a lot more but didn't want to say anything. My dad was quiet but relieved. So once again even at 41 they still get to worry about their youngest child. Was frazzled when I walked in the door and started the lunches, backpacks, picking up etc. Yes I really wanted a drink. Good thing there's nothing in the house. Took some deep breaths and tried to relax. Opened up a 7UP and took a big swig. I pretended Vodka was in the can. It didn't relax me but at least I felt a little better. Now I will get the kids to bed, take a hot bath, and start reading the Shack. God, don't leave me now. Tomorrow it all starts....