Friday, March 15, 2013
I don't post a lot anymore. Partly because I'm busy and also because I'm in a good place. This blog was a tremendous help to me in early sobriety, and I still peek in at other blogs and garnish knowledge and wisdom from them but find the need for me to ramble to be less and less. However I recently came accross something that I felt like sharing.
What a joy it is to sober up and be present in one's life. I would have missed out on a lot if I would have kept drinking down the path I was headed on. My oldest son Alex was very instrmental in my early recovery. A freshman in high school at the time and active in the winter sport Curling. He made sure that he was home every night in time for me to head to a meeting. Since my husband wasn't exactly talking to me at this time it was wonderful to share my 30 day chip, my 3 month chip, my 6 month chip with someone who was so supportive. Thank goodness my other two children were small enough where they didn't really remember why mom was going to meetings every night. Now they love to look at my AA medallions and they know I still go to meetings but its just everyday life to them.
A few weeks ago I was getting a scholarship ready to mail that Alex had filled out. I came across the essay and started reading. He talked about feeling dumb and inferior to his classmates because he struggled in school. He shared openly how relieved he was when at age 12 he was finally diagnosed with Dyslexia. Then he went on to talk about how he had to learn how to believe in himself. He would be the one to make the change. No amont of tutoring, or extra homework help could make him achieve what he wanted. It had to come from inside. He talked about his jr. high grades and that by the end of his junior year in high school he couldn't believe the amount of change he had facilitated in himself.
When he registered for his freshman year he was told to take an easy math course, that he could opt for sign language instead of foreign language and that he should request extra time on tests. He said these recommendations seemed too easy to take advantage of so he selected a math course much higher, and German I, and didn't ask for extra time on tests. He wanted to see what he was capable of not what other people expected of him. Now just a little over two months from graduation I am happy to report the following: He has been on the honor roll consecutive times, he lettered and medalled academically, he is a member of the National Honor Society, the Interact Club, a Safe School Ambassador, he works at the GAP, has been accepted to an excellent private liberal arts college, received a merit and art scholarship towards his tuition and has completed four years of math, science, foreign language, did very well on his ACT's, never asked for a minute of extra time and will graduate with 12 college credits. This was his journey. My husband and I only encouraged, but he took the reigns and he did this. He didn't just talk the talk, he walked the walk.
He in many ways is my inspiration. To go from a C/D grade average to A's is such an accomplishment! He will be the first to tell you, "I'm not exactly naturally smart but I'm determined and very hard working." This in turn keeps me determined and very hard working. When I was a year into sobriety he started to really change. You could see there were definate things he wanted to do and he started to achieve them. I can't take credit for anything that he has done but I do think when he saw that I would be ok, that I had a program and people to help me stay sober he felt secure and strong enough to stop worrying about me and to take care of himself.
He makes me a better person, he makes me want to keep on being sober for years to come. I know that my husband and I have been very blessed with our three beautiful children and I am so glad that I have been sober through almost all of his high school years. What a gift to be able to watch someone grow, and shine. So thank you Alex, you are an inspiration to me, to never let anything stand in my way. That there really is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow....