Friday, April 22, 2011

Winds of change and circumstance.....

Some weeks are just full of it. Full of "living life on life's terms". Two people at work are dealing with personal family issues. Both are health related, one is a spouse, the other a father. I just received an email update on one and now it's hour by hour. Sigh. My hubby was approached last week with a job offer to work for someone he has worked for in the past. He really liked the current company he's employed with but they are fading fast, and have been since November. This new job involves a shift change once again, but one I'm used to and can handle just fine. It was much harder when the children were smaller but now they can do many things for themselves. The money is less but then there's the factor of "a job vs. no job" so we'll manage. It's a good opportunity for him, with room to grow. So after much thought (and me keeping my mouth shut believe it or not) he decided to take it. I could tell he is feeling much better now that he accepted the new job, and handed in his resignation. Sometimes I think a fresh start is the best. Gracie our youngest has had stomach flu since Wednesday. She has managed to keep a bite of food down and some Sprite since 9:00 last night. So the household is a bit sleep deprived. I did stay home with her and was able to get all the laundry done and the entire house cleaned. What you can do in a day! And now we fast approaching Easter weekend. Oh did I forget to mention that it snowed Tuesday night into Wednesday. I was assured that we are done with winter since it's now "snowed on the Robin three times". Let's hope the old wives tale is true. I can't take another snowflake! Life is in limbo. The good is holding hands with the bad. It's times like these that I am so thankful to God, his plans, letting him be in charge, and having a program in AA to act as a guide. A guide to staying in the moment. A guide to not taking a drink so all the "bad" feels a little better. Learning to reach out to people has been a lifesaver for me. One of the above mentioned people who is dealing with a sick family member had made it clear that they do not want to talk about it. We at work are respecting this decision, but it is not easy. You can see the pain, the exhaustion but pride and privacy are pushing away what could be a useful support system. I can remember when I was like this. Hide everything, take everything on myself, I don't need help, I'll handle it. What a big dose of garbage that is! There's a reason we have other people in our lives. To reach out, to laugh maybe instead of cry, to just know there's someone else sharing your pain is a source of comfort. I now see what happens to people in the rooms of the meetings when they are locked tight. Proud, and private, they generally relapse. Afraid that throwing the laundry front and center will produce judgement, and criticism. I have found that by sharing some of the more difficult problems in my life, I am able to lighten the burden. It allows people to see my soul, to know me as a feeling, hurting human being. Yes, I'm in pain, yes it will pass. So when I wittness people struggling with wanting to keep their burdens to themselves I feel sad. I know it's none of my business, so I pray, and wait. Wait til the hard shell starts to crack, and then I'll hold out my hands and help them catch the pieces. May you all have a joy filled holiday weekend with the ones you love, and who love you back......

3 comments:

  1. Some know that the moment they begin talking about "it", they'll lose it,, and OMG, cry in public??
    Prefer a root canal, thank you

    You are so right about the 'purpose' of having people in our life - it is one of God's greatest gifts. Presenting ourselves as real human beings opens doors and bridges a gap where deep meaningful relationships can grow, it allows trust - a reciprocal thing!

    Think of all those hours in a work week, and all the while "acting as if"
    Exhausting feat!!

    Hope no one else gets sick in the house! Little ones with the flu,,, awwwwww

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  2. hope the little is feeling better and hooray for hubby!

    we were never meant to live life alone, ahving people there to walk with us is vitally important and being real is a huge part of that...

    have a great easter weekend!

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  3. Happy Easter weekend my friend, I truly hope health returns to your daughter.

    I am still the one who doesn't want help, a defect I'm working on. Sounds like you're working on your patience ;)

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